u/elizabethanelevator

I don’t know if anyone has seen this woman before, but she was a Gamma Phi Beta at Alabama; she felt it wasn’t a fit, but she gave it a chance. She accepted the bid, went to bid day, went to the bid day retreat, and waited a while before she made a move. This happened before the new GPhi house, and she brings up how that helped sway her opinion, but she still waited for over two months to make a move, and that’s what’s important. I don’t agree with everything she has to say, but much of what she has to say is true and I think anyone thinking of dropping should wait and give things a chance before acting immediately.

She dropped right before initiation and rushed again. Details what she did to be on top of everything, talks about how she focused on getting to know people, keeps her grades up, and ends up joining Chi Omega. Do I firmly believe that not everything is supposed to feel like something else? Yes. Does that extend to sorority recruitment and the new member period? No. When you’re a new member, you should be welcomed, and actives should be going out of their way to encourage you to be involved in the house (retention). If you join and it doesn’t get better after a few weeks, you didn’t feel like the house was a fit from the start, and you give it a chance and still feel that way, or you try and you don’t fit in. Dropping is always an option, and so is trying again.

I was a Rho Chi at Alabama, and I can tell you for a fact that girls drop both during rush week and before initiation, and they try again. The process isn’t perfect; sorority recruitment isn’t perfect, but it’s better to drop than to bring everyone around you down and let yourself down too. Unless you make real changes and create connections during freshman year, you likely won’t have much success, but if you focus on doing what you can to better your chances, things will likely turn around. There was Madison, that girl who went viral the same year as Kylan, who joined SK, dropped, went Theta the next year, stayed in, and loved it. I had PNMs who felt like they weren’t fits in houses other girls loved and decided to drop or tried them and dropped before initiation to try again; my sorority accepted a girl via COB who’d dropped another house before initiation, and I personally know more than one woman who’s gone through rush twice.

If you give the process a chance and still feel like it isn’t working, the best thing to do might be to give yourself another chance but with more preparation and more knowledge this time. If you know a chapter isn’t for you, why stay and spend thousands? Is it being true to yourself to force yourself to stay in a situation that isn’t pleasant or beneficial to you? Sororities aren’t holding grudges, ruining the opportunities of women who left on good terms, keeping lists to retaliate later, or reacting to every member that leaves. If you leave on good terms, it’ll likely end there. Fitting in is also more complex than accepting a bid, so I’ll leave off with this, but if you give an opportunity a fair chance, you have the right to drop, prepare, and try again. Don’t let people shame you or try to tell you that people don’t rerush, it’s been happening forever, focus on yourself and what works best for you.