u/ewoofk

I was just reminded of this experience of mine after discussing our heatwave in the UK right now.

About ten years ago I was staying in student halls in London. I wasn’t studying there. I was attending a wedding and wanted cheap accommodation. My friend had given me the tip that you could get a super cheap place to sleep for the night at universities making money from their summer-vacated halls of residence.

I didn’t care what the room was like as long as it was clean and had a bed to sleep in. It was very basic, but set in a beautiful Georgian row of terraces near Kensington. High ceilings. Crown mouldings. Huge sash windows. Windows that only opened two inches. They were nailed shut and no amount of persuading would move them.
It was July. I had been at a wedding all day. It was the hottest day so far that year. I asked reception if they had a fan, and thankfully they generously provided one. But all it did was move hot air around the room. I slept with my head on the windowsill because I was literally struggling to breathe. But it was only for one night, so I powered through.

The next day was even hotter. Unbearable. I’d booked a seat on the Megabus and decided to use that rather than drive down south, all the way up to Preston. Mercifully, the air conditioning was on and it was as lush as a mountain breeze. Every single passenger was enjoying the crisp, cold air. The collective energy was one of “relief at last”.

About five minutes into the journey, the woman in front of me started complaining it was too cold. Loudly. She had a vest top and skirt on. Someone muttered, “Well, put your coat on.”
Did she put her coat on? No, she did not. She went down to the driver twice to ask him to turn off the air conditioning. He refused at first, but she kept wearing him down. It became noticeably warmer. And then it became unbearably stuffy. One hundred people on a double-decker coach breathing in the same air.
I was the first to break. I waited until the next stop because I didn’t want to distract the driver. I asked him if he could please turn the air conditioning back on. He said that a passenger had complained and wouldn’t leave him alone until he turned it off. I said that the needs of the other 99 people on the coach outweighed those of one woman. He agreed and cheerfully turned the air conditioning back on.

The next seven hours became a game of table tennis between this one woman, who wouldn’t put her coat on, and the rest of the passengers.
Until she loudly proclaimed that her daughter was “a freezing cold child”, only for her daughter to immediately reply, “No I’m not,” having already taken off her hoodie. It was insanity. She would not give up. Every time someone asked the driver to turn the air conditioning on, she would, like clockwork, march downstairs and tell him to turn it back off. He was maliciously complying with her requests, but also with those of all the other passengers.

I ended up getting off in Manchester and going by train the rest of the way. It was either that or bodily throw her through a second-floor coach window because I was starting to channel Michael Douglas in Falling Down.

And then, completely randomly, when I got to Oxford Road and was waiting for my train, I spotted Lisa Riley from Emmerdale.