feeling guilty and stuck-up for retaking A-Levels with average grades
For context I scored the grades CCA for A-Levels.(2 Cs and 1 A)
I feel I am truly crazy and stuck up for retaking A-Levels just so I can score straight As with 1B and get into a fixated course in NUS.
There hasn't been a day where I didn't feel guilty and miserable for not just going to a lower-tier uni and completing my studies or even do an engineering course in ntu like I truly don't understand why I couldn't swallow up my pride and just go to uni. Although my family is not struggling with money, we are not exactly rich either and when I think of that one year that i have wasted where I could earned, I just feel rly bad.
Instead, I took the decision to redo my A-Levels with the hopes to get into my dream course and while I am having mixed feelings whether I will improve because I truly have been working hard and seeing major improvements in work, i feel like my mental health is really deterioating because every single day I feel guilty that I am wasting money because not only do I have tuition(just for one subject), I feel like it's one whole year.
Another major thing for my decision was because i was from high-tier jc where many people did tremendously well so I just couldn't see myself doing a course i didn't like or going to a uni that is ranked lower...like I truly truly wish I didn't have such an elitist mind but i do know for a fact that I will regret forever for not trying A-Levels one more time since I made a lot of mistakes in my study plan last year.
One more thing for any j2s reading this, please listen to my advice, if you are able to afford tuition for any subjects that u feel u need major help, please don't hesitate because I had the mindset that tuition was not worth due to the cost but when I think about it, I could have easily earned back that money with a part-time job and I truly regret not getting tuition for one subject last year.
I just felt like ranting and will go back to studying soon :/