scared to read aloud or participate in class and i don't know how to get over it
i've been struggling with this for years, but it's getting much worse now that i'm in law school.
when i was in school, there was one time when i was reading aloud in class and mispronounced a word. a girl started laughing, and for some reason that moment has stuck with me ever since. since then, whenever i have to read aloud or speak in front of the class, i get extremely nervous. once during giving a presentation in class, i started shaking infront of everyone aswell.
now, our english professor randomly asks people to read aloud from the text, so sometimes i know there's a possibility that i could be called on. but even when other professors ask for volunteers and say that we can raise our hands if we want to read, i still get nervous. so it's not really the fact that it's unexpected. we're also given the readings and resources beforehand, and i actually read the text aloud to myself before class so that i'm familiar with it. i know how to pronounce the words and i know what i'm reading. but as soon as i imagine having to read it in front of everyone, i start panicking. i even read a whole page out infront of my roommate, and didn't struggle at all.
my heart starts beating really fast, my hands get sweaty, and i start shaking. sometimes i feel like my mind just goes blank.
the weird thing is that i know i can speak properly. i can read perfectly well when i'm by myself, and i'm completely fine speaking in front of one or two people. i can articulate myself properly and my english is actually pretty good. english is my second language, but i can write perfectly fine, so i don't think it's really about not knowing the language.
it's specifically being watched and having everyone listen to me that scares me.
now i'm in law school, where participation and speaking in class are obviously a huge part of everything, and it's getting worse. i haven't said anything in class yet. i was extremely nervous even during introductions, and i keep thinking about how i'm eventually going to have to participate.
i know realistically that mispronouncing a word isn't a big deal, but my body reacts like i'm in actual danger. i'm terrified of embarrassing myself or having people laugh at me again. it's gotten so worse that i want to quit law school even though it's just been a week.
has anyone else experienced something like this? how did you get yourself to start speaking in class? im scared to take the first step.