I keep getting ghosted for not giving a LINE number (even for “short-term fun”). The problem is LINE sucks because it isn’t end to end encrypted and it randomly alerts your contacts that you have LINE or mentions your activities. Learned that the hard way before. Is there a reliable app for making a second phone number in Japan? I don’t want to use mine.
Hey all. So I (39M) have been looking for a venue for hooking up/casual dating in Tokyo but it’s been a desert out there. Observations:
1.) Dating apps are mostly trash but I’ve been regularly getting matches from late 20s-late 30s women (I work out and look younger than my age) on Bumble. Some good looking ones too. Before anyone chimes in with a “lobster too buttery/steak too juicy” dig, the problem is that almost all of them seem to be looking for long term relationships or marriage. I’m not a husbando looking for a waifu though. I see maybe 3 women a day with “something casual” or “ENM” and the good looking ones never seem to respond. Very different from the MySpace days of yore. Then again, I was in my early 20s back then and so were they.
2.) Tried checking out various Hubs many a time and nobody seemed interested in talking with anyone they didn’t come in with. The times when I tried hitting up women who seemed available, they seemed either disinterested or shy (getting rejected in front of crowds was also kind of embarrassing). A rando pinched my butt over a year ago when it was late and everyone was really drunk, but that was it.
3.) Pretty much every other drinking establishment aside from Public Stand was an izakaya-like setting or Japanese only with no free and open atmosphere conducive to meeting foreigners.
Maybe it’s just me but it seems like Japanese women beyond their early 20s just aren’t interested in casual encounters with foreigners. Any ideas? All I can think of are:
1.) Pretend to want a committed relationship on Bumble and lovebomb until I get what I’m looking for. Shady, but the market reality is what it is.
2.) Keep trying and failing in person until I get a yes, at the expense of becoming a walking meme.
3.) Participate in the “skin trade” with women who don’t really want to be there or risk getting stuck with Chinese and Southeast Asians just trying to rip me off.
Genuinely not trying to offend or upset anyone with this post. Just genuinely curious about how a foreigner can have his needs met here without going through the slog of a committed relationship (been there, don’t want to do it again).