u/gothmeowkasa

I got d.va (named after the overwatch character) back i 2018. she was my first rabbit, and she got me through the worst times of my life. there were so many times i wanted to not be here, but stayed for her.

i started work on may 11 after staying home for 6 years due to developing agoraphobia, and was so nervous about starting already. wednesday night she was her usual energetic self, eating, running around, and happy to see me and my partner. on thursday morning we realized she wasnt acting like herself before we left for work, so we rushed her to the vet. i didnt think it was going to end with me coming home without her. i held her the whole time, up until they had to actually put her to sleep, as they (the vets) didnt want me to see her like that(she was a dwarf bunny and they couldnt get a catheter in her, so iykyk how those euthanasias work) , and i held her for a long time after they brought her back in after she was gone.

i just feel so. lost? empty? i spent 8 years with her, and nearly everyday for 6 years straight with her. she was my world, my everything. i have another rabbit (they werent bonded and kept in complete separate parts of the house), and three cats but they just arent her.... i keep crying randomly and feeling so heartbroken. im glad i was with her, and she didnt suffer for long, but i dont know how to feel real or ok without her here. i miss her so badly.

her passing wont make me give up on life because i know she wouldnt want me to, and it wont stop me from loving my other rabbit, or rabbits in the future, but it feels like a piece of me has died too.

10 years old is pretty good for a bunny, and even the vets said she was in impeccable shape for an only lady, and it was clear i treated her like a princess, but 8 years was nowhere near long enough to spend with such a wonderful rabbit.