u/graceful-dead

First reddit post in a long time, but I needed to vent. I have worked for a small business for 6 years now. I am the only employee here, because most days one employee is enough in the store. (My days off the store owner works himself.) Him and his wife have treated me like family. Christmas and yearly bonuses, gifts for my birthday, and I don't have many rules or any strenuous tasks. I even bring my dog to work. Though I do live alone and have to work two jobs to be comfortable, I get paid fair for the ease of the job. To many people I have the dream job, and for so long I could agree.

I've extended my patience for years. I know they have a plan for me when we expand, which has been a long process. I will manage the store (as I do 5 days a week), but also a team of part-time workers. I will get to have more Saturdays off, I will make enough to quit waitressing every other weekend, and my loyalty and patience will be rewarded... eventually.

For additional context, we are in the process of expanding from cbd/low dose hemp products to a recreational dispensary. I've witnessed first hand the effort to move this forward. I've done training and we are so close to re-opening. The problem is, I've lost the excitement I once had.

The biggest, and most relevant problem I have working here is the customers. It's the entitlement, the mundane and repetitiveness of their questions and jokes. It's forcing smiles, laughs, and conversations. It's forcing a professional attitude when people are callous, rude, or even worse flirtatious. It's not that I've lost patience waiting for my job/pay to change, I've lost patience for people. I'm burnt out with people pleasing. And what makes it existential, is I know this is my best option. I wanted to write stories and poetry, but that dream could never replace working. I want to continue my education, but I'm already in too much student debt. I want to be social when I want to be, not because I'm forced to be 5 or 6 days a week. I guess, like many of you in this group, I just needed to let out my frustrations. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm at work. On my laptop, my dog asleep 10 feet away, and yet, I am unhappy.