I'm so incredibly lonely.
I have been sick with ME for over 2 years now. Severe since October 2024.
In October 2024, I had a very severe crash, which is what caused my deterioration from mild to severe long term. During that crash, I lost everything. My partner at the time became my caretaker, then burnt out and left me. I lost my job and my ability to work. We had to sell the house we bought together. I had to move across the country from Portland to Tennessee to be with my parents for care-taking. I have nothing left. Previously I was in a financially secure, happy period in my life. Now I am very financially unstable and frankly unhappy.
I have friends still, who I mostly talk to online. But even that is isolating. I can no longer engage in the hobbies that originally brought us together. The hobbies I had that I previously enjoyed before getting sick are impossible for me now. I just really don't know how to build and live a life that i would want to live, given my health. I am bedbound. It is really hard for me not to despair.
And I miss my ex so much. Its been over a year since we spoke! its insane that I still miss them. They say time heals all wounds but I honestly don't really believe that anymore. The normal thing that heals isnt just the passage of time but the accumulation of new experiences and the knowledge that you can be happy in a new environment. I don't get that. Time passes and every day is the same, barring my fluctuating symptoms. Which is itself a source of distress.
TLDR: Got sick ~2 years ago and am really struggling with loneliness and purpose.
