1 year 80lbs
i feel better physically, i can do/manage a lot more than i could before. i can feel the change with my clothing. i’m praised constantly for my weight loss by my family and friends. i’m at 240 (5’10 31yo), and the last time i was at this weight was 12 years ago after i had my son.
i wish this could feel more like a celebration post, but it doesn’t. i’m struggling very much with body dysmorphia. i haven’t updated my clothes although i’ve lost 2 sizes. i don’t see myself as any different than the picture on the right. which, i know isn’t the point of all of this. i’m not doing this to look skinny… am i? i know i’m not. i’m doing it for the sake of my health. then why does it hurt to look in the mirror? i still have my belly, it still sticks out when i relax and now it hangs down and under my clothes i look like melted ice cream.
i do still have around 50-60lbs more to lose, which i know is achievable. just sort of venting, but i do want to celebrate. i know i’ve come a long way. blah