Checking myself into detox for the very first time since today at 11 am. After using Kratom daily for the last 8 years and 7oh heavily for about a year now. It’s time to kick this shit the FUCK out of my life. Nervous as hell but excited too. Wish me luck everybody!
I’m a big fan of indie folk and love the album “What of Our Nature”, by Haley Heynderickx and Max Garcia Conover. And I swear every time I listen to the song “Cowboying” I can’t help but think of Eph and his entire arc every single time, especially towards the end with his relationship to Volga.
Read the lyrics but make sure you listen too!
Lyrics-
Cop-killing, coal-mining, starvation wages
The end times, the headlines, the hate was contagious
And when I get too high, I'm dead-eye complacent
And when I need money, I take it
A think piece, you know me, my hat is capacious
I swore she was flirting, she's just a good waitress
I doubled the dosage, still I feel anxious
So when I need something, I take it
I don't know these horses
I don't know what they wanna be fed
I don't know these horses
I've been cowboying, Illinoisan, fry me up bacon
Been drunk and obnoxious and passively racist
They lied to us, Captain, they're batshit, let's face it
They don't work for their money, they take it
Yeah, there's a beat-down in this town, so I'm out here scrappin’
My chicken-feed frenzy, my working-man's fashion
My underdog story is, at best, dishonest
'Cause when I need something, I got it
I don't know these horses
I don't know what they wanna be called
I don't know these horses at all
So when's my redemption, and who's gonna save me?
And how do I start to believe something made me?
That life isn't pain, and love isn't greed
And the land will provide, and those sorts of things
Here’s what I’ll say, if the sun now is settin’
If the home of the brave is a joke I’m just gettin’
I may have been ugly, I may have been mean
But I had somebody I tried to get free
Yeah, I rode every day from dawn until dusk
To help make her way a little less rough
Sure, I murdered and I stole, but don’t call me evil
It was mostly just money and people
I don't know these horses
And I can't get them out of my head
I don't know these goddamn horses
And I'm not sure if I want to
Or if maybe I like it this way
I don't know these horses