I want to see my mum
My mother and I were very close. We emailed every day since I moved out. I remember as a kid telling her she had to live long so that we could go to the same retirement home. I remember as a kid telling my friends that I couldn’t handle not having my mum, that I’d rather die before. That’s how close we were. I lost her 2 years ago after a long battle with fronto temporal dementia. She was in a sense gone before she died, but she was still there and I still took care of her as much as I could. It was different but the love was the same. We lived in different countries. I came to see her as soon as I had vacation and the last time I came, she was in bad bad shape, but I still wanted to believe. I could see in her eyes she was happy to see me. She died the morning after. Like she waited for me to come. Though when my sister came to wake me up that morning and told me it looked like the end I refused to believe it and didn’t go downstairs. She died in my sisters arms and it was the hardest thing ever. One thing I don’t understand is that we were so close that I was hoping she’d visit me in a dream, but nothing. I don’t understand. Is she angry I didn’t go downstairs as she died?