u/hey_its_hayden_

This is so unusual for me but i guess this is the best place for me to talk about it.
I’m a non binary transmasc and since before my coming out i’ve always been attracted to masculinity and pure wrath (i’m not talking about sexual orientation).
I started practicing witchcraft this January (so i’m kind of new i guess) and somehow i’ve always felt a strong masculine presence around me. I realised, actually, this presence has always been with me from the beginning. It was like a source of power, something that somehow gave me a boost during intimate moments with my partner. Even with my confidence and the way I manage my anger in this moment (i worked A LOT on myself).
I started to think it was actually king Asmoday at first, but since i don’t know anything about demonology, I felt too scared to even try.
I still no idea if that was him when I started with the witchcraft.
Anyway, i found out other deities reached out to me and i stopped thinking about it. Still, it was like something was missing and i guess i tried to ignore it because i was (still I am) too scared.
Lately, seems like the topic is back and the energy is stronger than ever. I joined this subreddit just for pure curiosity, i’ve always been fascinated by demonology, especially King Asmodeus.
Until i had a strange dream last night.

So since i started witchcraft, i began to experience premonitory dreams and a LOT of vivid dreams, it’s the main way deities communicate with me.
Last night tho, the energy was different.
All the people who know me are pretty aware my main hyperfixation is about The Hulk (think about it, it’s pure wrath).
During my teenage years, it was normal to have constant dreams where i teamed up with this character (I had the same abilities as him)… And the pure anger i sensed every time felt REAL.
Now i’m a young adult and those dreams became rare, but sometimes, especially when i’m stressed and furious, they come back.
Last night, Bruce was with me in my dreams, but his energy felt different than usual. He was like guiding me to find peace from my anger, very masculine and somehow attractive.
We fought together and again, the pure wrath was something that hit me differently than usual.
I woke up with the boost i was talking about, and, i don’t know how, i was deeply mad.
My mind is stuck there, and i know myself enough to know that when this happens, a spirit is trying to communicate with me.
I feel a bit cringe speaking about a fictional character like that, i do not “fangirl” about it like i was used to do as a teenager, but… That unlocked something in me.
The more i read about King Asmoday, the bigger this energy becomes.
I don’t know where to begin and if getting involved with a very strong energy is a good idea.
I’m sorry for the poem, i’ve wanted to write something here for days but i’ve never done it until now.
I thank in advance the people who will read this! I’m open to new information and perspectives!