u/holaimaj

hi beautiful people :)

since my CML diagnosis i’ve been hard on myself about finding a new job. i currently work as an assistant customer experience manager at a grocery store. its very physically demanding and i know for a fact i wont really be able to heal in an environment like that. it makes me extremely sad though because i was recently promoted back in february and when i got the news about my leukemia my body hasn’t been the same.

i’ll be returning back soon i’m just not sure how long i’ll last. i don’t have another job yet and i’ve been applying. the job market is so bad right now. it never was hard for me to get a job but now times are a little different.

what are some jobs i can apply to that’ll be good for my body ? i have a bachelors degree in business administration. i’ve been applying to lots of receptionist , admin assistant , and healthcare jobs. i’ve also looked into wfh jobs but haven’t got as much luck.

eh , i feel so defeated 🥺 i need as much help as i can get.

hi guys :)

since i’m newly diagnosed with cml, there’s definitely going to be a lot of posts where i’m asking for some type of guidance as i work toward accepting my new normal.

i’ve been on dasatinib since june 11. it has brought my counts down, and i’m working toward achieving a hematologic response.

i take my medicine in the morning, but mornings are so hard for me. i wake up feeling like i got hit by a bus every morning! some mornings are easier, but most just aren’t. the body pain and aches are just so much.

with me already having anxiety, it scares me because i’m always thinking of the worst-case scenario. i really need help with what i can do to ease my mind and body. i’ll also be keeping my hematologist informed about these symptoms.

i really never expected to be going through this at only 23, but here i am, and i have to learn to accept it.

Hello beautiful people. :)

I’m a (23F), and on May 19, 2026, I was diagnosed with CML.

Prior to my diagnosis, I was experiencing excessive anxiety, depression, fatigue, loss of appetite, and really bad mood swings. Since I already have an anxiety disorder and was diagnosed with it back in 2021, I tried my best not to let the symptoms get to me. Usually, my anxiety comes and goes, but this time was different. The symptoms were frequent and happening almost every day. They started affecting my daily life, and going through all of this sent me into a deep depression.

I ended up reaching out to my doctor about going back on my anxiety medication, and she sent the prescription in right away. She wanted me to take the medication only as needed, but I knew I would need it almost every day. Once I got the medication, I took it every morning, but I couldn't really feel it helping because my anxiety would flare up again as soon as it started wearing off. I contacted my doctor again and told her that I felt like something else might be wrong because my anxiety wasn't even responding to medication anymore.

She scheduled an appointment and told me she wanted to run some lab work. During the appointment, we discussed all of my symptoms, and she documented everything. She also referred me to a psychiatrist. Throughout April, we continued doing follow-up appointments. After speaking with her, I got my blood drawn and went home.

The next morning, while I was at work, I saw that my lab results were available. I logged in and saw that my white blood cell (WBC) count was 26,000. Honestly, I didn't think much of it. I rarely get sick, I consider myself healthy, and I thought I had a strong immune system. I even convinced myself that my anxiety was the reason for the elevated count.

Later, I noticed that my doctor had scheduled a telephone appointment. When we spoke, she asked if I was sick and how I was feeling. I told her I felt okay and that I wasn't sick. She explained that my WBC count was much higher than normal and that we needed to figure out why. She scheduled additional lab work, and I went in the following day.

When the results came back, my WBC count hadn't gone down—it had increased. At that point, she referred me to a hematologist. She explained what a hematologist does and why I needed to see one. Even then, I still wasn't fully processing what was happening. I kept convincing myself that everything could somehow be explained by anxiety.
Meanwhile, my anxiety and depression continued getting worse. It became so overwhelming that I had to take a leave from work. I haven't been back to work since April 21, 2026. My managers and coworkers could see how much I was struggling. As a manager, it was heartbreaking to go from being energetic and motivated to feeling tired, weak, irritable, and anxious all the time.

Fast forward to my hematology appointment on May 11, 2026. During my first visit, I spoke with a social worker about my mental health and everything I had been experiencing. I also discussed it with my hematologist. I explained that the lab results she had received were already a month old and asked if she could run updated blood work because I still believed anxiety might be causing my elevated WBC count.

She listened to my concerns and agreed to order new tests. During that conversation, she also told me she wanted to test me for cancer, specifically leukemia. Hearing that made me feel almost invincible because I truly believed something like that could never happen to me. In my mind, I had already decided the test would come back negative.

After the appointment, I went to the lab and completed the testing. My doctor ordered a CBC, a BCR-ABL test, and another test that I can't quite remember. My appointment was on a Monday, and I received the results that Friday.

I saw that I tested positive for the BCR-ABL gene, and my WBC count had risen to 49,000. I also learned that I had a level of 16% BCR-ABL. At the time, I didn't know much about the BCR-ABL chromosome, so I started researching it myself. As I read, I learned about the cancers associated with it. Chronic Myeloid Leukemia (CML) and Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) were the two diagnoses I came across most often.
Seeing that information terrified me. I felt defeated, hopeless, and scared.

I expected to hear from my doctor that same day because I was eager to understand what treatment would look like, so I called the hospital myself. Unfortunately, neither my doctor nor her assistant was available because they were assisting other patients. I didn't receive a call from my doctor until the following Tuesday.

When we finally spoke, she told me that I had tested positive for Chronic Myeloid Leukemia, but that a bone marrow biopsy would be needed to confirm the diagnosis. She was very reassuring and explained that CML is treatable, but if left untreated, it could progress into something much more serious. Hearing those words hit me hard. I never imagined I would be facing cancer, especially at such a young age.

Since receiving my diagnosis, I've become extremely cautious about everything I do. I haven't spent much time with my friends, and even though I've been told I can live a normal life, it's hard for me to believe that I'll ever feel completely normal again—not the way I once did. I know I have to adjust to my new normal, and I'm learning to accept that.

Eventually, I received my biopsy results and final diagnosis: Chronic Myeloid Leukemia in the chronic phase. There was no evidence of progression to another stage, and everything else appeared to be normal and within healthy ranges. I don't see my doctor again until July 17, and I'm sure she'll review everything in detail then. At the same time, I trust that if there were any serious concerns, she would have addressed them already.

For now, I'm being monitored weekly so my medical team can track my blood counts and treatment progress. I'm currently taking Sprycel 100 mg. The first week was very difficult. I experienced severe headaches, body pain and extreme fatigue. I still deal with nausea from time to time, but that was something I experienced even before starting treatment, so I think anxiety may play a role in that as well.

On June 16, I had my first blood draw after starting my TKI. The following day, I received my results and saw that my WBC count had dropped significantly—from 49,000 to 37,000. Seeing that improvement gave me a little hope.

Lately, though, I've been struggling mentally and physically. My appetite has been poor, and I've lost a lot of weight. I hate that, but I'm doing my best. I've been trying to join support groups and connect with people who are going through similar experiences because this has been the loneliest journey of my life. I never expected my mental health to be affected so deeply, but here I am.

I'm just a girl trying to adjust to her new normal.