u/ijspaleis

I’m orange 😐

I promise I’m not a narcissist or anything who constantly thinks everyone is in love with her. It was already obvious to me that this man was ‘crushing’ on me after one meeting experience when his physical attraction to me became too clear, and he started to behave in an emotional “like” way when I saw him for the months afterwards (very bad btw, he has a girfriend of years and his best friend is my boyfriend). It was okay because we’re just aquiantances basically and I don’t blame people for having silly little crushes (especially on me 😛💅) because we’re all adults, so I interpreted all the obvious signs as flattering for my ego, or touched by how much he seemed to genuinely care about me, and thought nothing more of it. Sometimes you just have chemistry and people really like or admire you, without it having to mean anything more than that and without people doing anything with it. It was only annoying because I couldn’t really share that information with anyone, since I like to talk about big gossip like this but everyone in this little world I’m in is so connected to each other. (And ofc, do not want to ruin the cute bromance that he has with my boyfriend). But yesterday he was talking to me and some that were with me (older people) and he made conversation, I laughed at something he said and he lingered his gaze on me for full seconds, changing his microexpression from like a normal charm smile to a smile that became more relaxed, weirdly emotional and joyful at the same time. I can’t explain it but that moment my nervous system took a hit like Bang and I realized “oh my god”. This man is in love with you… this is not just an innocent little crush or a naughty ‘like’. He is thinking of you. And this is way heavier and complicated than I convinced myself it was. I still have no one in my environment to share that information with so I’m sharing it with reddit. And I’m also in the meanwhile not so sure if I’m genuinely just making this all up in my head? Since it’s such an outlandish and dramatic situation, even though this is not something that I would just make up to entertain myself or something. So only just today it came to me as an idea to look up my synastry chart with this guy to check if this telepathy- vibe attraction radio thing had any basis in astrology.

This is the chart: I’m orange. I guessed his birth time since I think he’s very obviously a sag rising, one of the most obvious sagittarius risings on the planet lol. If you don’t think so then just imagine his aries moon moved a bit more towards pisces with 2 degrees or so.

Sometimes I could have done nothing wrong to a person and they start passive agressively bullying me for no reason 😟 and then I have to analyze and analyze my behaviour until I find out the little tiny incentive I gave them to act that way, for example one time months ago I could have come across as a ‘know it all’ (not weighing up against the 863 other times I expressedly valued the other person’s opinion and knowledge) and therefore they don’t like me. (When that other person has been way explicitely ruder consistently towards me for example). Or I once came across as too much of a hoity toity girly girl because I stressed about my hair so now they have only contempt for me and gossip about me or something.
I’ve asked around and there are also people who have no such view of my behaviour, most people would even describe me as very kind ‘too kind’ even and quite self sacrificial. I’m very attentive to what might be toxic behaviour from myself and what not. I know that some people that I’m talking about (at least that’s what I found out) were just being mean behind my back out of spite or no good reason where they were very blatantly in the wrong. But why does that keep happening to me like twice or three times a year?

TLDR: Is it me ? Why do I attract this beef with people out of nowhere? Why do I so often have these sob stories to my boyfriend about how people were unjustly being mean or unkind to me?
Also could I be crazy and is it likely that these people are not actually ‘conspiring’ in their dislike of me? (I mean not all of them bcs I know some def were) or am I being too paranoid or triple paranoid?

Is it the lilith placements ?

(Ignore the blue’s house placements of the right chart’s, because their birth time is unknown!!)

How come the first chart is with me and the loml and the second chart is from just a fling? Even though the right chart seems much more potent for romance

(Ignore the blue’s house placements of the right chart’s, because their birth time is unknown!!)

How come the first chart is with me and the loml and the second chart is from just a fling? Even though the right chart seems much more potent for romance