u/im_a_day_dreamer

**disclaimer: I don’t study math in my course of study and my math is 👎🏻, pls just read for fun. Thanks you.

If a person lives till 80, then 40 is the midpoint of their life right? But this statement is only half true. From a calendar perspective, yes it is true. However, the time perceived by humans is not linear.Under the logarithmic perception of time model, 18 years old is already the midpoint of one's subjective life experience.

There’s Weber's Law which tells us that human perception of change depends on relative change. Integrating this formula further gives us Fechner's Law.This indicates that human subjective perception is proportional to the logarithm of the objective stimulus.Just imagine during the holiday, ur teacher assigns you 5 exam papers, and then suddenly adds 5 more at the last minute, you would complain. But if they assigned 100 papers and added 5 more, you wouldn't complain as much.In fact, earthquake magnitudes, decibels of sound, and pH levels are all based on logarithmic models.If we apply logarithmic perception to the lifespan, we can model it like this, let’s assume the subjective length of each year is roughly equal to 1 divided by your current age (1/t).

One year at age 5 accounts for (1/5) of your total life experience. Whereas one year at age 50 is only (1/50). Therefore, the accumulated subjective time can be written as this integral formula:
S(t) = ∫ (1/x) dx = ln(t)

Assuming stable memories begin at age 4 and life ends at age 80, we find the half-point and substitute it into the logarithmic formula. After rearranging, we take the exponential of both sides.Thus, the subjective midpoint of life under the logarithmic time perception model can be defined by this result:
t = √(t₀ × T)

As you can see, the subjective midpoint is not the arithmetic mean, but the geometric mean. Substituting the ages, it comes out to 17.9 years old. So, if time is perceived proportionally, then out of a lifespan from age 4 to 80, half of your subjective life has already passed by around age 18.This is also why we always feel that the older we get, the faster time flies. A year during childhood represents a massive proportional change, whereas a year after growing up is just a tiny increment within a long reservoir of experience.
What we are truly losing is not time itself, but our capacity for time to leave distinct markers in our memory.Therefore, what I just wanna say is I hope everyone can courageously try new things. The length of a life does not just depend on how long you live, but on how many moments are truly remembered by you.

I came across a question recently: “If a chicken spends its entire life without ever ending up in KFC, Mcdonald, Jollibee or any famous fried chicken chain, and if it simply grows up, lives an ordinary life, and eventually dies, would it be considered a ‘failed’ chicken?”

The first time I read that question, I didn’t think much of it. I was like, “Huh, what kind of question is this?” But after giving it some thought, I realized the question was never really about the chicken. It was about us. We live in a world where almost everything is defined by selection. Schools select us. Employers select us. Our friends and partners choose us. Even the way we choose to live is often placed into invisible hierarchies. Over time, many of us begin measuring the value of our lives by one simple question: Am I the chosen one? Why am I not the one?

But perhaps the answer isn’t so straightforward. Some people would argue that the chicken was actually the lucky one. It never became someone’s meal. It lived freely, on its own terms. Surely that makes it the more successful chicken. But if you released it into the wild, there’s no guarantee it would survive. There would be predators and a far harsher set of rules than the ones humans created. Freedom has its own costs.The same is true of the society we live in today. It isn’t perfect. There is competition, pressure, inequality, and unfairness. Yet it is also the product of centuries of human civilization. Our systems have flaws, but they also protect countless ordinary people. Selection can be painful, but it is also part of what allows society to function. More often than not, what we think is choosing between different lives is actually choosing between different prices we are willing to pay.

I believe everyone has heard this quote before: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It is commonly attributed to Theodore Roosevelt. When I was younger and first came across that quote, I thought it was simply reminding us not to envy other people. But as I grew older, I realized it was saying something much deeper. We spend so much of our lives comparing ourselves with lives we never lived. We imagine another career would have made us happier, another country would have been fairer, another relationship would have hurt less, or another version of ourselves would have been more successful. Yet we rarely stop to consider that every path has its own struggles, every life comes with its own price, and every set of rules has its own imperfections. Perhaps adulthood is not about finding the perfect life, but about accepting that no life is free of trade-offs. The sooner we stop comparing our journey with someone else’s, the sooner we can begin appreciating the one we are already living.

Looking back at that chicken, I don’t think it matters anymore whether it was ever considered “successful.” Life is not an elimination tournament with only winners and losers. It is a long journey. No one gets to walk the easiest path forever, and no one escapes hardship entirely. Whether that chicken ever made it into KFC, Mcdonald, Jollibee or any fast-food restaurant was never what defined its life. Perhaps that is why the question about the chicken feels so strangely human. We spend so much of our lives trying to be chosen that we rarely stop to ask whether the life we have chosen is one we can truly accept. Maybe the better question was never whether we were chosen at all. Maybe it is whether we chose our own life consciously, understood the price that came with it, and accepted it without spending every day wishing we were living someone else’s.

Before the weekend ends I hope to share something that we all might be going through right now called Odyssey period … the word is borrowed from Homer's epic Odyssey, the story of the hero's wandering and returning home. In today's psychology and sociology, it refers to the period from the end of adolescence to actually taking on adult responsibilities, to the time when they truly take on adult responsibilities. It's probably from the early 20s to around 30s like some of us here.

Actually if you do realise people in their 20s are very awkward, they are legally an adult, physically mature, but they are still exploring psychologically and may still rely on their families for financial support. We are no longer a teenager, but not a real adult. We maybe like Odysseus, drifting on the vast sea, not knowing where the other side is, or which harbor you will finally dock at.

Of course, the most obvious part of this stage of life is UNCERTAINTY. We may keep changing jobs, switching industries, or even changing our life goals over and over again. Today you feel like you have finally figured out what you want to do, but a few months later, you are questioning everything again. One moment you are thinking of applying to university, the next you are wondering if you should just work full-time or study part time instead.Many of us are eager to find a clear identity, but every decision seems to come with a new set of doubts. You finally land your first job, only to wonder if you chose the right career. You get accepted into a course, then start worrying whether it will actually lead to a good future.

It’s easy to become anxious and feel like you are falling behind, especially in life often feels like a race. You scroll through ig or LinkedIn and see people your age getting married, collecting the keys to their BTO flats, buying their first house or car, graduating from uni, getting promoted, or launching successful business. Some are travelling the world while working remotely, while others already seem to have their lives planned out already.

Meanwhile, a lot of us are still trying to figure out what we really want. Maybe you are changing jobs again, wondering whether to study, worrying if your salary is enough, or questioning if you are“too late” compared to everyone else. It can feel as though everyone has a map except you, leaving you drifting like a ship without a destination.And this is precisely the meaning of the Odyssey period. In the Odyssey, Odysseus drifted on the sea for 10 years. During these 10 years, he experienced temptation, failure, and loss, and even almost forgot who he was. But it is these experiences that made him truly become himself.

Similarly to us, the wandering in our 20s is not a waste, but exploration. Every job you change, every relationship or friendship we all have been in, and all the failures and confusions you experienced are all drawing a map of your life. There is a saying that the most dangerous time for a person is not when he fails, but when he succeeds. Because at the moment of success, he stops growing. And you in the Odyssey period are still in the midst of infinite possibilities.

So if you are in your 20s or early 30s, feel confused, anxious, and at a loss, please don't panic. Maybe you can try to allow yourself to take a few detours, make some wrong decisions, or even not know where you are going for a period of time. You are just going through the adolescent stage of adulthood. There are no standard answers or a fixed path. Allow yourself to drift, allow yourself to make mistakes, and allow yourself not to know who you want to be. Because eventually you will find that the meaning of Odyssey is never the destination, but in this long journey, you finally know who you are. So yah it’s ok not to be ok because it’s just the odyssey period we all are going through.

Give me a few minutes, and let my words to do the rest tysm

Just another random day, staring into empty space and wondering about the difference between liking someone and loving someone, whether as a partner, a friend, or family.

It is not about who is right or wrong, nor is one greater than the other. They simply carry different weights in the heart and leave behind different marks.

Liking someone is easy.

You find yourself staring at their profile picture a little longer than usual. During conversations, you tell yourself to wait for them to reply first, yet somehow you are always the one who types first. When it rains, you wonder if they remembered to bring an umbrella, but after a moment, you simply carry on with your day.

Liking is excitement. It is anticipation. It is the passing thought of, “It would be nice if we could have a cup of coffee together.”

It is like the spring breeze brushing gently across blooming flowers. The petals tremble softly, the sunlight is warm, and the air feels sweet. But once the wind passes, the flowers grow still again, as if nothing ever happened.

Love is different. Love is noticing that they have been carrying too much lately. Even when you are exhausted yourself, you still make time to check in, to listen, or simply to remind them, “You do not have to go through this alone.”

Love is remembering the little things that most people would never notice.That they take three and a half cubes of sugar in their coffee because three isn’t sweet enough, four is too much, and three and a half is just right. To everyone else, these details seem ordinary, even forgettable. But to you, they are pieces of the person you love, each one quietly treasured like stars gathered one by one and kept in the warmest corner of your heart.

Liking rarely survives the passage of time.It is like a song you could not stop playing for weeks. Eventually, life fills your playlist with new melodies. When you hear it again months later, you still remember every lyric, but it no longer makes your heart skip a beat.

Love is like an old book you have read countless times. Its pages have yellowed, the corners are worn, yet every time you open it, a certain sentence still reaches your heart.Then one day, you accidentally discover an old bookmark tucked between the pages.On the back is their name, scribbled absentmindedly years ago. Time has blurred the ink until the handwriting is almost impossible to recognize.

Yet in that single moment, your fingers stop moving.

Your throat tightens.

Even your breathing slows.

You realize that some things you thought you had long let go of never really left at all.

They have been quietly living between the cracks of your bones all this time.

Liking says,

“I want to be with you.”

Love says,

“I am willing to stay beside you, even through the days when being together is not easy.”

Liking is holding an umbrella for someone on a sunny day, romantic, beautiful, and effortless.

Love is sharing a broken umbrella during a storm. Both of you are soaked to the shoulders, yet you are still
smiling and asking,

“Are you cold?”

Liking fades with distance, disappears because of misunderstandings, and bows to reality.

Love makes distance become longing. It makes misunderstandings worth clearing up. It makes reality something you choose to endure together.

Love is not made of dramatic promises.

It is made of choices repeated every single day.

Choosing not to walk away when you are frustrated.

Choosing not to force answers when they are silent.

Choosing to look at each other at your lowest, most broken moments and still believing,

“This person is worth it.”

People often say,

“Liking is the joy of first meeting. Love is never growing tired of each other.”

But I think love goes even deeper than simply not growing tired.

It is seeing every weakness they have, their fears, laziness, flaws, bad temper, even the parts they wish nobody knew, and still wanting to hold their hand and gently say,

“It is okay. I understand.”

Liking is like the wind.

It comes and goes.

Love is like roots.

Invisible beneath the ground, yet strong enough to hold up an entire forest.

So do not rush to say,

“I ❤️ you.”

Ask yourself first:

Can you still choose kindness after an argument?

Can you forgive without keeping score?

Can you sit beside them in silence when words are no longer enough?

If your answer is yes, then perhaps you have already reached love.

And if you are still at the stage of simply liking someone, that is okay too.

Liking is where love begins.

It is a seed that has only just broken through the soil.

If you continue to nurture it with sincerity and patience, one day it may grow into a great tree, strong enough to shelter both of you from the wind and rain.

In the end, the most beautiful kind of love has never been,

“You shine so brightly.”

It is, “I have seen you at your darkest, and I still want to light a lamp for you.”

Liking is when your heart is moved.

Love is when your heart is at peace.And true love is choosing someone willingly, wholeheartedly, and without regret 🫀

Give me a few minutes, and let my words to do the rest.

Just another random day, staring into empty space and wondering about the difference between liking someone and loving someone, whether as a partner, a friend, or family.

It is not about who is right or wrong, nor is one greater than the other. They simply carry different weights in the heart and leave behind different marks.

Liking someone is easy.

You find yourself staring at their profile picture a little longer than usual. During conversations, you tell yourself to wait for them to reply first, yet somehow you are always the one who types first. When it rains, you wonder if they remembered to bring an umbrella, but after a moment, you simply carry on with your day.

Liking is excitement. It is anticipation. It is the passing thought of, “It would be nice if we could have a cup of coffee together.”

It is like the spring breeze brushing gently across blooming flowers. The petals tremble softly, the sunlight is warm, and the air feels sweet. But once the wind passes, the flowers grow still again, as if nothing ever happened.

Love is different.

Love is noticing that they have been carrying too much lately. Even when you are exhausted yourself, you still make time to check in, to listen, or simply to remind them, “You do not have to go through this alone.”

Love is remembering the little things that most people would never notice.

That they take three and a half cubes of sugar in their coffee because three isn’t sweet enough, four is too much, and three and a half is just right. To everyone else, these details seem ordinary, even forgettable. But to you, they are pieces of the person you love, each one quietly treasured like stars gathered one by one and kept in the warmest corner of your heart.

Liking rarely survives the passage of time.
It is like a song you could not stop playing for weeks. Eventually, life fills your playlist with new melodies. When you hear it again months later, you still remember every lyric, but it no longer makes your heart skip a beat.

Love is different.

Love is like an old book you have read countless times. Its pages have yellowed, the corners are worn, yet every time you open it, a certain sentence still reaches your heart.

Then one day, you accidentally discover an old bookmark tucked between the pages.

On the back is their name, scribbled absentmindedly years ago. Time has blurred the ink until the handwriting is almost impossible to recognize.

Yet in that single moment, your fingers stop moving.

Your throat tightens.

Even your breathing slows.

You realize that some things you thought you had long let go of never really left at all.

They have been quietly living between the cracks of your bones all this time.

Liking says,

“I want to be with you.”

Love says,

“I am willing to stay beside you, even through the days when being together is not easy.”

Liking is holding an umbrella for someone on a sunny day, romantic, beautiful, and effortless.

Love is sharing a broken umbrella during a storm. Both of you are soaked to the shoulders, yet you are still
smiling and asking,

“Are you cold?”

Liking fades with distance, disappears because of misunderstandings, and bows to reality.

Love makes distance become longing. It makes misunderstandings worth clearing up. It makes reality something you choose to endure together.

Love is not made of dramatic promises.

It is made of choices repeated every single day.

Choosing not to walk away when you are frustrated.

Choosing not to force answers when they are silent.

Choosing to look at each other at your lowest, most broken moments and still believing,

“This person is worth it.”

People often say,

“Liking is the joy of first meeting. Love is never growing tired of each other.”

But I think love goes even deeper than simply not growing tired.

It is seeing every weakness they have, their fears, laziness, flaws, bad temper, even the parts they wish nobody knew, and still wanting to hold their hand and gently say,

“It is okay. I understand.”

Liking is like the wind.

It comes and goes.

Love is like roots.

Invisible beneath the ground, yet strong enough to hold up an entire forest.

So do not rush to say,

“I love you.”

Ask yourself first:

Can you still choose kindness after an argument?

Can you forgive without keeping score?

Can you sit beside them in silence when words are no longer enough?

If your answer is yes, then perhaps you have already reached love.

And if you are still at the stage of simply liking someone, that is okay too.

Liking is where love begins.

It is a seed that has only just broken through the soil.

If you continue to nurture it with sincerity and patience, one day it may grow into a great tree, strong enough to shelter both of you from the wind and rain.

In the end, the most beautiful kind of love has never been,

“You shine so brightly.”
It is,

“I have seen you at your darkest, and I still want to light a lamp for you.”

Liking is when your heart is moved.

Love is when your heart is at peace.

And true love is choosing someone willingly, wholeheartedly, and without regret.

Before I end, I do not hope these words teach you the difference between liking and loving.

I only hope they help you recognize it when life gently places it before you.

Perhaps one day, when you find yourself choosing someone over and over again without needing a reason, whether they are your partner, your friend, or your family member, you will smile and think,

“So this is what love feels like.”

The first time I tasted the pain
of losing a dear friend,
I was 14.

Now, nearly ten years have passed.
That memory survives only in scattered fragments.

I remember being abandoned without a sound,
never knowing why.
Only that the replies grew colder,
the silence grew heavier,
until one day,
the friendship quietly came to an end.

I was young then.
The immune system of my heart
had not yet fully formed.

I did not know how to be hopeful.
I did not know how to carry grief.
I only knew how to blame the world,
and blame myself.

I kept asking:

If it was their warmth
that first reached out to me,
why was I the one
left carrying the pain of their leaving?

Yet that silence pushed me beyond
the boundaries of my comfort.
It led me toward better friendships,
toward people I may never have met otherwise.

And years later,
perhaps God saw how I had changed,
or perhaps fate could not ignore
the strange coincidence
that we shared the same birthday,

the friend I once lost
found their way back into my life.
There were distances to bridge,
cracks to mend,
a friendship restored with the patience
of repairing an ancient artifact.
But in the end,
what was lost
was found again.

At 18,
life handed me
the same lesson again.

Again, someone approached with warmth.
Again, I answered.
Again, I was abandoned without explanation.

And once more,
I was pushed into a valley
I never chose to enter.

It felt like hell.

Not because they left,

but because they left
without a word.
No explanation.
No conversation.
No chance to be heard.

Only silence.

The kind of silence
that swallows every question whole.

It was not fair.
I fell back into self-doubt.
I lost myself again.
I was forced from my comfort once more.

But this time,
nothing returned.
There was no reunion waiting years later.
No second chance written into the story.

Yet life, in its strange way,
still refused to leave me empty-handed.
That loss pushed me beyond familiar shores,
and along the way,

I met people who would become dear friends.
They did not replace what I had lost,
for people are not interchangeable.

But they reminded me that every ending
also creates space for new beginnings.
As the years passed,
we became strangers.

Or perhaps something worse

people who once knew each other deeply,
but no longer belonged
in each other’s lives.

I thought I had learned
everything that silence could teach me.
I was wrong.

At 24,
I was made to face it again.

The same lesson.
The same wound.

Only this time,
I still remember every detail.
Again, I was moved
by someone else’s warmth.
Again, I chose to answer.

I offered sincerity.
I approached carefully.

But somewhere along the way,
I lost sight of my own boundaries.

Perhaps the flaw
had been there from the beginning.

I gave more and more of myself,
never noticing how much ground
I had surrendered.

Then the truth arrived
like a crack spreading across glass.

Small contradictions.
Quiet omissions.

I realized that not everything
had been as it seemed.

There were things hidden from my sight,
truths left half-spoken,
and conversations that carried
less honesty than I believed.

Desperate for clarity,
I reached out again and again.

Not to accuse.

Not to fight.

Only to understand.

But what answered me
was the same old silence.

The silence that avoids.
The silence that refuses.
The silence that leaves.

Then distance.

Then disappearance.

Then a door
that never opened again.

More final than before.

More complete.

More painful.

And once again,
without warning,
I was pushed toward that familiar,
unfamiliar abyss.

Trapped inside the nightmare
of being abandoned.

Not by anger.

Not by hatred.

But by silence.

But after all these years,
this is what I have learned:

The deeper a thing is,
the sharper it becomes.

It broke apart my innocence.

It wore away my naivety.

It tempered my mind.

If I overcome it,
that is my strength.

If I cannot yet move beyond it,
then perhaps there is still more
for me to learn.

A wounded heart
is both a trial and a release.

Both a calamity
and an answer.

Because sometimes,
the people who hurt us most
are not the ones who speak cruelly.

They are the ones
who leave us alone
with questions that echo for years.

And perhaps that is why,

after everything,

it was never the goodbye that hurt most.

It was the silence.

A diary of a INFJ person… I used to believe that the quality of a relationship depended on the kind of person the other person was. Gentle people made you feel safe. Cold people made you feel hurt. Someone who loved you enough would accept your flaws, while someone who didn’t would slowly drain you. It seemed logical and simple. For a long time, I focused on understanding other people, trying to figure out whether they were worth getting close to, whether they could give me the response I wanted, and whether they could help me feel more secure. I thought that if I chose the right person, everything would fall into place.

But over time, I realized relationships do not work that way. What truly traps us is often not the other person’s personality, attitude, or choices, but the parts of ourselves that emerge within a relationship. These parts are not revealed intentionally. They appear through closeness, expectations, and emotional investment.

I began to see that I was not as calm and composed as I had imagined. In certain moments, I became sensitive, anxious, and even a little possessive. I would overthink when someone took too long to reply. I would pull away when I sensed a slight change in their attitude. I would feel hurt by small things that seemed insignificant but somehow made me feel overlooked.

When I was alone, these parts of me rarely appeared. By myself, I could easily see myself as patient, understanding, and emotionally mature. I could accept life’s imperfections and handle most problems on my own. But once someone truly entered my life, hidden cracks began to show. I was not as stable as I thought. I simply had not been in situations that exposed my instability.

Relationships are often described as mirrors, but they are not smooth and perfect mirrors. They are more like water with ripples. When you move closer, the surface changes because of your presence, and those ripples reveal your own shape. I started to realize that many of my moments of insecurity were not created by the other person. They came from unmet needs that had always existed within me. My desire for reassurance, validation, and recognition was not really about any specific person. It was about parts of myself that I had never fully understood or cared for.

There was a period when I became obsessed with figuring out whether someone truly cared about me. I searched for clues in their tone, their actions, and every interaction we had. I was constantly trying to reach a conclusion, yet no conclusion ever felt certain. When insecurity exists within you, no amount of proof can completely remove doubt. A little more attention would comfort me for a moment, but soon I would worry that it might disappear, and the cycle would begin again.

Eventually, I understood that this constant need for reassurance was not love itself. It was a search for security. I believed that if someone gave me enough attention and affection, I would finally feel stable. But if a person’s sense of self is incomplete, no amount of external validation can truly fill that emptiness. It only creates dependence. Once that validation disappears, the imbalance becomes even stronger.

So I began shifting my attention away from the other person and toward myself. I realized that what I wanted was not simply love. I wanted love to prove my worth. I wanted to feel important, irreplaceable, deeply understood, and consistently valued. I wanted confirmation that I was someone worth keeping and not someone who would easily be abandoned.

But that need for proof was fragile from the beginning because it meant I had handed the authority over my self-worth to someone else. I depended on their response to feel secure. When they failed to meet my expectations, my confidence would collapse. A relationship built this way may look intimate, but it is actually built on imbalance. The more I cared, the more I lost my boundaries. The more I wanted closeness, the easier it became to lose myself within it.

At first, I tried to solve this problem in the wrong way. I suppressed my needs. I told myself not to depend too much, not to care too much, and not to place pressure on others. I hoped that lowering my expectations would bring me peace. But it didn’t. The needs never disappeared. They simply hid beneath the surface and returned unexpectedly when I least expected them.

Real change began when I stopped denying those needs. I stopped blaming every emotion on the other person. I started accepting that the desire to be seen, valued, and reassured is a natural part of being human. There is nothing shameful about it. The goal is not to eliminate these needs but to understand where they come from and learn how to take responsibility for them.

Gradually, I began to see relationships differently. They were no longer just interactions between two people. They also reflected the relationship I had with myself. I realized that the way I interpreted other people’s actions depended heavily on my inner state. When I felt empty inside, the world seemed uncertain and threatening. When I became more grounded, my understanding of relationships changed as well.

I stopped trying to change others and stopped trying to control relationships in order to feel safe. Instead, I focused on building a stronger foundation within myself. It was not a quick transformation. It was slow, repetitive, and often uncomfortable. Sometimes I still fell into old patterns. Sometimes I still felt insecure or wanted reassurance. The difference was that I no longer allowed those feelings to control me. I could notice them, sit with them, and understand them before reacting.

This did not make me colder. It actually helped me understand intimacy more clearly. True intimacy is not about holding on tightly or constantly demanding reassurance. It is about connecting with another person while remaining whole yourself. It is not dependency or exchange. It is a free and genuine connection between two complete individuals. You can move closer or create distance. You can speak or remain silent. But you do not lose yourself because someone else changes.

I have come to understand that no matter how close someone is to me, they remain an independent person with their own pace, choices, and boundaries. My role is not to control these things but to decide how I want to participate in the relationship. Often, what we call love is actually an attempt to complete ourselves through someone else. When that expectation is not met, disappointment and conflict follow.

Perhaps the true purpose of relationships is not how long they last or how perfect they are. Perhaps their purpose is to help us see ourselves more clearly. Our insecurities, attachments, desires, and disappointments all point toward parts of ourselves that still need understanding. As those parts are acknowledged, accepted, and cared for, our relationship with love begins to change.

Maybe one day, when we become more secure within ourselves, we will no longer be obsessed with the place we occupy in someone else’s heart. We will no longer need relationships to prove our worth. We will still love and still seek connection, but our desire for it will no longer be driven by anxiety. It will feel natural, like a river flowing in its own direction. We meet people not because we need them to fill a void, but because our paths happen to cross.

And when that day comes, we may look back at all our struggles and realize they were not meaningless. They were mirrors that helped us break old beliefs and slowly rebuild ourselves. The process is often long and painful, but it brings us closer to who we truly are.
That version of ourselves will never be perfect, nor completely stable. But it will be seen, understood, and no longer dependent on others to confirm its existence.

At present, changes in the world, the times, and history are unfolding in an unprecedented way. Youth is always associated with newness. During your growth, which word have you found your understanding of to have changed? This change carries the imprint of your development and holds special meaning for you…

Leave a comment about which ‘word’ has changed your perspective over the years.

“Judge people by their actions, not by their intentions. If you judge by intentions alone, no one is flawless.”

Let me break it down for you today, because understanding this can cut 80% of your resentment and mental drain.

Many of our struggles do not come from what other people actually do. They come from our constant need to figure out what is going on inside their minds.

When a friend does not reply to our message, we wonder if they dislike us. When a colleague seems distant, we replay every interaction and ask ourselves whether we did something wrong. When a relationship starts to fade, we search endlessly for an explanation.

The problem is that we cannot see into another person’s heart.

The more we guess, the more confused we become. The more we analyze, the more exhausted we feel.

People who seem emotionally at peace often share one trait: they judge actions, not intentions.

They do not obsess over whether someone’s motives are perfectly pure. Instead, they focus on what that person actually does.

If someone helped you when you were struggling, that help was real, even if they had their own reasons for doing it. If someone hurt you at a critical moment, that hurt was real, even if they insist they never meant to.

Intentions may explain behavior, but they do not erase its consequences.

Many people become trapped in endless overthinking because they use relationships to excuse behavior.

Someone repeatedly ignores them, yet they tell themselves, “They probably didn’t mean it.”

Someone says something hurtful, yet they wonder, “Am I just being too sensitive?”

As a result, they become stuck between how they believe someone should treat them and how that person is actually treating them.

Judging actions rather than intentions brings us back to reality.

If a friend rarely contacts you anymore, ignores important messages, and constantly avoids meeting up, it may be time to accept a simple truth: their investment in the relationship has decreased.

Instead of losing sleep trying to understand why, adjust your own level of investment accordingly.

If someone says something that makes you uncomfortable, stop focusing on whether they had bad intentions. Focus on how the behavior affected you. You can understand where they are coming from without accepting how they treated you.

After all, intentions are difficult to prove. Actions are visible to everyone.

At the same time, we must learn to accept that people are not always driven by pure motives.

Relationships are often mixed with self-interest, exchange, and personal considerations.

Someone may help you because they hope for something in return one day. Someone may support you while also benefiting from the relationship themselves.

That is normal.

As long as they are not harming, manipulating, or exploiting you, their kindness is still worth appreciating.

Expecting everyone to have completely selfless intentions is simply unrealistic.

Human nature has never been black and white.

Once you understand this, there is another lesson that becomes equally important: separating your responsibilities from those of others.

Many people do not suffer because of what others do. They suffer because they constantly take responsibility for things that were never theirs to carry.

You decline an unreasonable request, and the other person becomes unhappy. Immediately, you wonder if you are selfish.

You express a concern, and someone reacts negatively. Suddenly, you start questioning whether you were too harsh.

You are misunderstood, so you rush to explain yourself. You are criticized, so you feel compelled to defend yourself.

But another person’s needs are their responsibility. Whether you choose to help is yours.

Another person’s disappointment is their responsibility. Maintaining your boundaries is yours.

Their emotions belong to them. Your choices belong to you.

You can respect how someone feels without becoming responsible for their feelings. You can understand their situation without sacrificing your own well-being to keep them comfortable.

Much of our exhaustion comes from carrying burdens that were never ours to begin with.

For the same reason, we do not need to spend our lives proving ourselves.

If someone challenges your work in a meeting, you do not need to panic and list every achievement you’ve ever had.

If a friend misunderstands you, you do not need to explain yourself endlessly until they are satisfied.

People with genuine confidence understand a simple principle:

The person making the accusation is responsible for providing the evidence.

You do not have to prove your innocence to everyone. You do not need everyone’s understanding or approval.

Some people will refuse to believe you no matter how much you explain. The people who truly trust you often do not need an explanation in the first place.

There is also another truth that many people eventually learn:
All relationships are temporary.

Some people enter your life because they admire you. Others leave because their priorities change. Some walk beside you for years, while others are only meant to accompany you for a season.

This is not always betrayal. More often than not, it is simply human nature.

Learning to accept change is far healthier than trying to force permanence.

So judging actions rather than intentions is not about becoming cold or cynical.

It is about becoming clear-minded.

Judge others by what they do, not by what you imagine they think.

Accept the complexity of human nature instead of demanding perfection.

Trust your own feelings instead of constantly questioning yourself.

Invest your energy in building your own life rather than analyzing everyone else’s.

When you stop trying to judge every heart and decode every motive, you will find that much of your resentment disappears, and much of your mental exhaustion fades with it.

The human mind is a bottomless abyss. The more you try to guess what is inside, the more lost you become.

Actions, however, are different.

Actions are the answer.

Have you ever burnt yourself out overthinking someone else’s motives? Drop it in the comments, thinking as an emotion dump.

*I can’t edit the title , it suppose to be “ Give each other some space to breathe”

I’m not sure if many people realize this, but expecting too much from relationships or friendships can end up hurting yourself and creating unnecessary stress in life.

I pretty sure many of us have our own idea of what a “good relationship” looks like. We expect friends to reply quickly, your partner to understand us without us having to explain everything, or family members to support every decision we make. Sometimes, our expectations are not even that obvious

They can be small things such as being on someone’s CFL on IG that you suppose you should be in, or not replying to the TikTok reels you shared with them. It can also be things like making plans to go to JB together, only to find out that they went with someone else instead. When these expectations are not met, it is easy to feel disappointed, hurt, or even replaced.

When these expectations are not met, you feel hurt or even angry. But we often forget that everyone is an independent person. You have your own life, and so do they. No one can always be available for someone else. Many people do not realize that this kind of expectation can actually damage love, because you start using your own definition to decide what a good relationship should look like.

Once you start expecting too much from someone, the balance in the relationship changes. What used to feel natural and easy becomes careful and tense. You start overthinking, worrying about their actions, and feeling upset when they do not reply quickly. These expectations are no longer love or care. They become pressure and a burden.

Later, I realized that good relationships need space. Like a painting, if you fill every space, it loses its beauty. Giving each other room to live their own lives makes the relationship feel more comfortable.

A true friend does not need constant messages, but will be there when you truly need help. A person who loves you does not need constant updates, but will respect your choices and support your dreams. Even family relationships need boundaries. Respecting each other’s lives instead of forcing opinions on one another makes the bond warmer.

You may fear being alone, so you try hard to hold on to people. But the tighter you hold on, the more likely they are to pull away. In truth, loneliness is a normal part of life. Learning to enjoy your own company helps you become less dependent on others for attention and love.

The person who stays with you through ups and downs is also someone who allows you to be yourself. They do not force you to change, and they do not get angry when you are not always available. You both live your own lives, but still care for each other, meeting occasionally and feeling warmth and stability.

So do not set unrealistic expectations for relationships. Do not try to pull everyone into your world, and do not sacrifice yourself just to please others. Lower your expectations a little, and you will find that every meeting and every moment together feels like a pleasant surprise.

A healthy balance of solitude and closeness is best, not too far and not too close. That middle ground is often where relationships feel the most comfortable.

Night is ending, and the song is almost over. I hope you understand that the best relationships are the ones that feel light, free, and easy. Even if they are not intense, that is okay, as long as there is still genuine care between both people, that is enough.

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for teammates to join the Huawei Tech4City 2026 competition. The theme this year is “Fueled by AI, Powered for Public Good”, and participants can work on solutions related to AI for Transportation, Education, Community, or Health. Teams consist of 3–6 members, and the competition is open to individuals aged 16–35. If you want to boost ur portfolio for ur studies pls lmk 😭

https://tech4city.sg/

What I know is AI also does not sigh or feel sad over having one less user. But we humans do when we lost a friend or someone we love or truly care of.

So yea maybe these words here may help you overcome the struggles you are going through that you have lost someone you thought it would last longer…

1. The Right Mindset: Make Peace with Yourself
There is no perfect age in life, only the right mindset. We cannot defeat time or outrun the years. The best thing we can do is live each day in a way that makes us happy. Learn to make peace with yourself. Let go of some things, forgive some things, and love yourself more. For the rest of your life, treat yourself kindly. Do not stay angry, do not try to please everyone, and do not punish yourself for other people’s mistakes. Smile gently, love sincerely, care less about gains and losses, and appreciate what you have. Treasure your time and treasure yourself.

2. Facing the Past: Do Not Glorify the Road You Did Not Take
No one goes through life without making mistakes. If you made a mistake, accept it and stop regretting it over and over again. Many people think, “If only I had done things differently.” But when you were younger and lacked experience, mistakes and confusion were normal. Even if you could go back, you might still choose the same path. Do not imagine that the road you did not take would have been perfect. Every path in life has its own challenges. There are no wasted journeys. Both successes and mistakes have value. The path you are on now is the best path for you. Your eyes are meant to look forward, not backward.

3. How to Deal with People: Do Not Overestimate Your Place in Others’ Hearts
No matter how others treat you, value yourself. Live honestly and with integrity. Do what is right and have a clear conscience. Take care of yourself in your own world and let things happen naturally in other people’s worlds. Life may bring storms, but as long as your conscience is clear, that is enough. People may judge you or criticize you, but that should not shake your inner peace. The meaning of life is to go through both joy and sorrow and come to understand the world, other people, and yourself. If someone does not care, there is no need to force it. If someone does not love you, there is no need to make them stay. Some questions do not need answers because actions are already the answer. Never think you are more important in someone else’s life than you really are. You may not mean much to them anymore, and that is okay. What matters is that you value yourself.

4. Facing Life: Problems Are a Normal Part of Living
Do not worry too much about the future and do not stay trapped in frustration. No matter how hard things have been, you have made it through before. Life is about solving problems as they come. Looking back, you have already overcome many difficulties. You have learned how to heal yourself even while struggling. You have gone through things you wanted and things you never wanted. Many problems that once seemed huge turned out not to be the end of the world. Peaceful moments are precious, but daily life is often messy. Everyone’s life has challenges. Even when the world feels cold, keep warmth and beauty in your heart. The most beautiful thing in life is inner calm and confidence. We often seek approval from others, but eventually we realize that life belongs to us. In the end, no matter who feels sorry for you, you are the one who must solve your own problems.

5. Attachment and Pain: Turn When It Is Time to Turn
Much of your stress comes from wanting something too badly. Much of your pain comes from taking things too seriously. When something is no longer working or a path leads nowhere, life may be telling you that it is time to change direction. True strength is not always about holding on. Sometimes it is about letting go. If you cling to one thought, you become trapped by it. When you let it go, your heart becomes free. If you cannot let go of your attachment, every place feels like a prison. The world will not stop for anyone. Everything will eventually pass. Holding on to what you cannot keep only creates more suffering.

6. Fate and Parting: Be Grateful for the Time Together
The purpose of meeting people is often to brighten each other’s lives. Even drinking tea alone can be peaceful, and enjoying the breeze alone can bring clarity. Relationships are often temporary. If someone walked part of the journey with you, that is already something to be grateful for. Nothing stays the same forever, and no one can stay with us forever. If the time together was happy, then it was a good meeting. How or when people leave is not always important. Sometimes parting simply means letting each other go. If someone suddenly disappears from your life, do not always ask why. Some things happen because it is simply time for them to leave. Some situations are beyond our control. People come into our lives for a reason and leave when that reason is complete. Do not be afraid to meet people and do not be afraid to lose them. Everyone has their own journey. How others treat you is their choice. How you treat others reflects your character.

7. Healing Yourself: Quietly Repairing Your Heart
When your stress becomes overwhelming, you do not always need to tell everyone about it. At night, when everything is quiet, take care of your own heart. Give yourself time to heal, then get some rest. When you wake up, you may find your strength again. There is no need to envy anyone else’s life. Every family has its own struggles. The difference is that you do not always see them. Life is not about being lucky or unlucky. It is about being grateful. Having food to eat, water to drink, and good health is already a blessing.

8. Health Comes First: Be a Happy Pirate
Take good care of yourself. Without health, nothing else truly belongs to you. Get angry less often, worry less, and enjoy life more. If you lose your health, what does it matter if you gain everything else? A good mood makes life better. Smile when you are happy. Sleep when you are tired. The less you carry in your heart, the happier you can be. Since we are all on life’s pirate ship, we might as well be happy pirates. A life without challenges would not be much of a life. As long as you are alive and breathing, there is still hope. Being cheerful, positive, free, and optimistic is one of life’s greatest joys.

9. Your Mind Shapes Your World: Allow Things to Happen
Many things in this world are temporary, but taking care of your own heart is real. Happiness, anger, sadness, and joy are often shaped by how we think. The mind is the source of both suffering and happiness. When your mindset changes, your world feels better. When your emotions depend entirely on circumstances, you suffer more easily. Accept what happens. Accept that life is unpredictable. The more you allow things to unfold naturally, the more peace you will find.