My partner was assaulted on her way to work crossing India St. between Franklin and Manhattan around 7:30am. White, bald man wearing a yellow shirt — didn’t seem unhoused. The guy crossed the street and tried grabbing her from behind. UPDATE: Thanks to the Redditor who got me the footage. Be careful out there.
I'm spending a couple of days in the Amalfi coast (Sorrento base) in October and plan on jumping to Croatia (Split and Dubrovnik) for a week. My plan is to spend 3 nights in Dubrovnik (we're also doing a day trip to Kotor in Montenegro) and 2 nights in Split before flying back home to New York.
Most people seem to suggest taking the train back to Rome from Naples and catching a flight there--I'm leaning towards that. I originally liked the idea of taking the ferry from Bari but there's only 1 ferry and I feel like in order to simplify everything I would have to spend 1 night there, which I don't want to do as the ferry would already take an entire day. I guess I'm just trying to get some "personalized" suggestions or opinions about what would be the best way to get there since.
Thanks everyone!
So I tend to get a lot for requests from people who are starting out in my industry asking if we can meet to network. Most of them tend to be be Google Meets or Zoom sessions but there have been a few where they actually ask me out for lunch or coffee. I tend to say yes to all of them because I genuinely like to help people and I believe in mentorship. However, the last people that I've met with have me wondering if I should be more selective with whom I share my time with--if I should really be saying yes to anyone and everyone.
I know cold-emailing or DMing someone on LinkedIn can be mortifying (I have social anxiety, so I know), we've all been there (I still do it), but if you expect someone to take time to meet with you, the least you can do is be prepared. The last 2 people that I've met with over Google Meet basically just sat there in silence. Like, why did you want to meet with me in the first place if you don't have any questions? If you only have 1 question and don't spark any conversation after I answer it, why not just include it in the original DM and call it a day? Was a meeting really necessary? I know most of the time there's always a hidden agenda which is to get work--I've been there! But man... how do you want me to give you work or even recommend you for work if you just sit there in silence or demonstrate indifference? Face time, whether virtual or in person, works. I've gotten opportunities through it and I've given them as well. But I also know people's time is very valuable so I treat it as such, no matter how chill/down to earth the person is.
I actually had someone ask me out for coffee 2 years ago. He had all his questions prepared (sounds formal but what I mean by this is he had a list of valuable things he wanted to discuss/picked my brain), paid for my coffee, and stayed in touch, which led me to hire him to assist me with a project later on. This brings me to my next point: coffee networking etiquette.
A few weeks ago I met up with a guy who was running a couple of minutes late to our coffee meeting, so I got impatient and ordered ahead in order to secure us a table since the place was getting busy. When he got there, he got frustrated because he really wanted to pay for my coffee. He insisted that I get a pastry or another drink to which I politely declined but I appreciated the gesture and have no complaints about how the meeting went. Fast forward to today, I have another networking coffee date with someone else. I get there, and after waiting 10-minutes, the guy I was meeting realizes he was at the wrong location, which is annoying but fine, mistakes happen.
I decide to wait for him instead of ordering my coffee. After waiting 20 additional minutes, he gets there with a drink from the other location and sits down rambling about his mistake. I give him a couple of seconds before finally letting him know that I was ordering something to drink to which he only responded "ok." At this point I'm feeling awkward for expecting him pay for my coffee, especially after making me wait 30 minutes. In my experience, when I'm meeting someone/"hosting" for the first time as a form of networking, I always invite them unless they insist to pay for their thing.
That's why when it's the other way around, when I'm the one being invited, I always say coffee cause it's cheaper. I guess I'm riled up because all of these meetings happened back to back, and it makes me wonder if I should have firmer boundaries because saying yes to everyone seems to be backfiring. I'm just flabbergasted at this point. I'm not sure if it's because I'm getting older/busier but I feel like not saying yes all the time doesn't make me a bad person.
I guess my question is: what are some things you do to decide whether or not to give someone time without coming off as an asshole?
My OBGYN from back home has not been able to give me answers for years and I can't take it anymore.
Context: I've been living with extremely painful periods my entire life. I'm talking about literally not being able to get out of bed for the first 5-6 hours of Day 1. I get low blood sugar (if I get my period early in the morning), belly bloating, sweats, vomiting (this is new for me, as nausea has always been a symptom but never to the point of vomiting), diarrhea and constipation at the same time, and body shakes that put me on the verge of passing out because of the pain.
Advil was the only thing that worked for me in high school but as I got older I found that while it did alleviate the pain, it started to create other issues like stomach cramps/pain and nausea, so I stopped taking it in college. How I went on about my life at that time is a blur, though I do remember going on birth control for a couple of years until I decided to stop when I graduated.
I've been a wfh freelancer for most part of my career but got a 5-days-a-week in-office job when I first moved to NYC. I was lucky that my period would often come during the weekends but sometimes it didn't. I started taking Advil again, and thankfully I had my own office so I would close the door, rest my head on the desk, and literally SLEEP away the pain whilst taking multiple trips to the bathroom. It was hell.
At that time, I started reading about endo and noticed that I had many of the symptoms, despite my OBGYN completely discarding it. I kept flying back home just to see her because my pain is not normal, and all she would tell me was to keep taking Advil despite me telling her how my horribly my body reacted to it. It started to feel like a complete waste of time and money--I've had enough. I needed a second opinion and I needed answers. I joined this sub, and started reading a lot of stories, many of which I identified with, but never really had the courage to post. That same week, I started to look for OBGYNs here in the city...and that same week, I was part of a lay off and lost my health insurance so plans changed.
While I was able to find a fully remote contract job relatively quickly, I was earning a little bit less than my previous job and was recovering from 2 months of unemployment, so I decided to opt out of health insurance. Because I didn't have to commute anymore, I just started to plan my life around this torture by obsessively tracking my period and not making any plans for that week. It's been 2 years and a half of just accepting that I'm going to temporarily suffer for a couple of hours until I'm not, whilst literally literally trying everything: THC gummies, ginger/turmeric teas every single day, gluten free diets the week of, etc. And while some months are better than others, the bad ones are REALLY bad.
I don't drink, I exercise regularly, and I'm plant-based. Despite all of this, living keeps getting harder and harder. I love to travel but can't plan trips in advance because what if I get my period? I almost passed out in the middle of Seoul because I got my period during a work trip and unfortunately was out and about when the pain kicked in. How I made it back to the hotel safely without passing out is beyond me. I did pass out when I got to the room.
While I do love my fully remote job, and don't plan on quitting anytime soon, lately I've been starting to feel like I can't do anything else with my life. Pursuing other opportunities sound scary because of this thing. I feel like I can't do anything else with my life because what if I'm required to be somewhere? How will I deal with the pain? I missed Christmas dinner with my partner's family last year because I was in bed in excruciating pain. I don't want to keep missing on little moments like that and I also don't want to feel like this is it for me. I'm about to be 30 and I'm tired of feeling like this thing is controlling my life.
My therapist suggested that I finally resume my search in the city as a way attack the root of the problem and retake control of my life with the help of an OBGYN who can help put a name to this.
Context: I got a new pair of glasses roughly 3 weeks ago. I chose frames a little bit bigger than what I’m used to wearing, but I’ve been wearing glasses for the past 15 years, and I don’t remember ever having issues adjusting to a new pair so I went with the ones I really liked, despite being bigger that I what I usually choose.
Anyway, when I first picked them up I experienced what I’ve come to learn is known as the “swimming effect.” I noticed that everytime I tried to read something as I walked it would become wobbly or blurry. Even reading subtitles or credits at the movies felt like I had to adjust my head position in order for the word to look crisp, which has never happened before.
The prescription I used is from about 8 months ago, from when I got sunglasses made. My optometrist told me there was barely any difference from my previous prescription from 3 years ago, but that it was good that I had opted to do a test before getting my sunglasses. My sunglasses have smaller frames but they don’t blur or wobble—they always look crisp so that’s the prescription I used for my new glasses.
I went back to LensCrafter and explained to the specialist, though I felt like I was having trouble describing the problem, and she told me that my lenses/frames were flat, and that bending them might help. She also told me the problem goes away with time and that I was still adjusting to the bigger lenses.
The bending did help the wobbling problem but I still have to shift my head to bring focus if I’m reading something distant. It usually happens when I’m outside and walking trying to read street signs but I’ve gone to the movies a couple of times and I still have to reposition my head to find focus, which I don’t think should happen?
I spent a looooot of money on these glasses and love them, but I’m afraid the measurements are wrong even though I went back and they “fixed” it. I also made the mistake of saying that I don’t wear them for most part of the weekdays. I work with my old glasses because the legs are thinner and they don’t bother me or give me a headache when wearing headphones (I’m a sound editor and need to wear specific over ear headphones), so she said I haven’t worn them enough. The prescription is basically the same so it doesn’t matter.
Another employee (not the specialist) mentioned it might be a prescription issue and that maybe I should go back for another test?!? But my sunglasses are fine so why would it be a prescription issue? I’m stressed af because she also mentioned my change window ends in 2 weeks so I should make a decision as soon as possible.
The problem is I don’t know if I should go back asap and spend the extra $ on a new vision test to double check with an optometrist (though, once again, my sunglasses are fine) or give it a few more weeks and see if my brain really is adjusting. I know the wobbling gets better over time but what about the blurring/focus? It’s really annoying making 1000 micro movements just to read something without it looking slightly blurry.
