I am frustrated (day 5)
I am on day 5 of quitting cold turkey and man I just feel not that good mentally. It’s really embarrassing to say what I’m thinking but I need to vent about it.
I have been tempted with relapsing and I’m not sure of the deeper psychological reason why but I just really really miss the highs from it. They were quick, I could do it anywhere, I could feel it multiple times a day. Honestly it is such a great and fun feeling that I can never replicate and will never enjoy again. I mean I bargain to myself both ways. Oh just relapse and quit another time or oh I’ll power through it and imagine when I’m a couple months off it I’ll feel better about it then. It scares me because even people who quit say the cravings never go away and I know I can’t do this forever. I am glad my lungs are repairing themselves feels great however the rest of my life feels empty. I know that sounds sad but I mean that I don’t have much to look forward to in life and even high happy emotions feel so minuscule compared to this feeling I will never get back. I dont know if I’m just not ready to quit or what. It’s so frustrating.