Helping to interpret tarot spreads
Hi everyone! I’d really appreciate some help interpreting two spreads. Please read the context before looking at the cards, especially regarding the Celtic Cross. I haven’t been reading tarot for very long yet, so I’d love to hear more experienced perspectives.
My situation in short: I’m about to change jobs, and I have two coworkers I get along with well, but they see this relationship as much deeper than I do. They very much want us to remain close friends even after we no longer work together, but honestly, I don’t want that.
Unfortunately the boundaries became blurred a bit. We spend 9 hours a day together, and I opened up to them more than I should have or wanted to, which I now regret. Lately I’ve been pulling back from that dynamic and loosening the bond somewhat, though not in an obvious or dramatic way. There’s nothing wrong with them, they’re kind people. We’re simply very different, and I’ve become deeply exhausted by the level of emotional closeness and intensity they expect from me. For a while I adapted and played a role they seemed to expect from me (and this is where I made a huge mistake), but I can’t keep doing it anymore. I don’t wish them any harm at all, I just don’t want them to continue being part of my life after this chapter closes. I know ending this connection will inevitably involve pain, and honestly I don’t want to hurt them. They probably won’t understand my decision either, but I also don’t want to endlessly explain or justify myself. I don’t want to ghost them, though they deserve some kind of honest communication.
I did two spreads about this.
For the first one, I asked: “What happens if I cut contact with them?”
I used the 7-card Rider decision spread, where:
7 = shows the inner reason behind the question, the core issue, or where the querent currently stands emotionally
3,1,5 = in chronological order, these show what happens if the querent does someting (in this case, if I end the connection)
4,2,6 = in chronological order, these show what happens if the querent does not do something (in this case, if I keep the connection)
The cards were:
7: King of Pentacles
3,1,5: Page of Pentacles, Three of Swords, Page of Swords
4,2,6: Five of Swords, Knight of Cups, Two of Pentacles
My interpretation right now is that if I cut contact, a new chapter begins for me, but this ending will involve heartbreak as well. However, the Page of Swords feels like a fresh start to me, although I think there will definitely be some passive-aggressive remarks or emotional “jabs” directed at me by these coworkers.
If I don’t end the relationship, then the tension remains. There may be some temporary peace restored, but I’ll continue constantly balancing between two emotional states, which feels exhausting to me. Honestly, it already is.
Right now I also have an internal conflict because I genuinely want to handle this in a way that doesn’t hurt them, but at the same time I feel like I’m abandoning myself a little more every single day.
I pulled one additional card asking how I should approach ending the relationship, and I got The Emperor. To me this didn’t mean “let it slowly fade away naturally,” but rather that I’ll eventually have to communicate this somehow, not cruelly or harshly, but clearly and maturely. And honestly, I think that’s the only way my conscience would truly feel clean too.
After this, I found the following spread explanation on sacred-texts.com:
https://sacred-texts.com/tarot/pkt/tarot1.htm
The position of my cards were:
Significator: Ten of Wands
- Covers: Six of Wands reversed
- Crosses: Justice
- Crowns: The Star
- Beneath: Four of Wands
- Behind: Eight of Pentacles
- Before: Three of Swords
- Self: Ten of Cups
- House: Five of Wands
- Hopes: The Sun
- Outcome: The Empress
It described my current emotional state with almost terrifying accuracy.
I’m carrying a huge amount of weight right now, not just this workplace situation. Honestly, this issue is just the cherry on top. I’ve been struggling with personal, family, and financial problems for a long time, and I’m also going through something of an identity crisis. My life feels very empty right now.
At the moment I feel uncertain, lost, stuck, and emotionally broken, but there’s still hope in me for a better future. To reach that future, though, I feel I need to reduce the “noise” around me, and that includes cutting ties that no longer feel right.
I don’t want anything extraordinary anymore. I just want a simple, peaceful life with my close family, where I feel safe. But I feel like I’ve lost my inner light.
Last year I went through a major emotional rupture that affected my mental health quite severely, and I’m still recovering from it. Because of that, I’m currently very sensitive to emotionally intense relationship dynamics and conflict, which is one reason this situation feels so overwhelming to me.
Every day I get up and do what I need to do, even though it’s incredibly hard to function normally while feeling like everything around me is falling apart.
And here again appears the Three of Swords, the card of pain and disappointment. That’s what I fear the most, maybe precisely because I know it’s unavoidable.
At the same time, I do see a positive outcome if I’m willing to set boundaries and accept the discomfort that comes with it. I’m just not sure whether I currently have enough strength for it. But I also don’t want to remain trapped in this situation.
At my core I’m actually a positive, life-loving person who is simply in a very dark place right now and feels powerless.
One more thing I found interesting: in my Rider guidebook the positions of the cards are arranged slightly differently than on the website (see second picture), and in that version the positions of the Eight of Pentacles and the Three of Swords change slightly, or at least I think I arranged them correctly. Their meanings still seem similar to me, but I’m not sure whether I should actually have swapped them.
I’d really appreciate any additional insights or interpretations. Thank you so much.