aight ok i’m heated.
ok so yeah, it’s early, and no, i haven’t slept but i’m just like, so idk if yall remember my accounts and my depressed emo girl posting but like i tried to go to rehab because i’m tired of my life sucking and i don’t wanna spend the rest of my life as an addict, where i just keep losing people i care about. so like, i tried to go to rehab here.
you’d think it’d go “oh you’re addicted to like, hard drugs and you’re going through hella shit come do our 28 day treatment program” but no. they told me they can’t help me because i have mental health issues, because i have eating disorders, because i’ve experienced delusions in the past.
so like, what the fuck? we have a whole ass rehab facility in town that doesn’t help people who have concurrent mental health issues? people for real have to go three hours to claresholm? yeah apparently we do. this is what mental healthcare looks like here? this is what the support for people suffering from addiction is? just 28 day treatment for people who don’t have major mental health issues or 7 day detox for people coming down?
no wonder things are so bad. people have to decide to change but when to do decide to change there’s no help in this city, you’re just pointed to some town three hours away with at least like a three month wait time, and like, i didn’t even think i had it that bad, like, i’m not homeless, i’m like the only person in my friend group who both rents a place alone and has a car, shit i’m like the only person i’ve met under 30 who has that.
yet i still have too severe of mental health issues for them to even attempt treatment until i complete the claresholm program, just crazy man, tax dollars pay for this and this is what we get? this is the solutions were given to our problems? it’s just crazy to me man, this is the mental healthcare we get for what we do for our city and our province, for what we pay to live here.
i don’t know, i don’t know what i’m talking about anymore. it’s just fucked up and i need to yell into some sort of void or else i’m going to lose my mind trying to act like everything’s ok here right now, trying to act like it’s something i can overcome without any real help, and i didn’t even mention the really hard to live with mental health stuff, like i just mentioned that i hear noises that aren’t there sometimes and i’ve had an eating disorder since i was in elementary school. this is what’s severe enough for them to tell me to elsewhere and wait for help then like go to some small town three hours away for significant help.
moral of the story; don’t hold your pain inside, don’t keep it in until it becomes too much, also maybe don’t live in medicine hat if you have trauma or any mental illness that you can’t overcome on your own.