u/itmustbeniiiiice

Unless you’ve been buried under your himbo reverse harem living under a rock lately, you’ll know that our lord and savior SJM just released the covers and blurbs of her next two books this morning.

The potential for jerkin’ it right now is peak. We are all cowering, waiting for the beloved weekend to post the SJM snark we’ve been banking all week just to remember that most people “touch grass” on the weekends in summer time (now’s not the time to interject Aussies! 🐨 🇦🇺 🦘 🥐 ) and no one is here to jerk with~~ m~~e us.

How can we stand to be limited to only one measly day of the week when the jerkin’ material is so sweet right now?

- I’ve got Sloopies on the main ACOTAR subreddits currently drunk trying to line up ALL the books according to color theory

- A whole ass niche subreddit is boycotting the very books their subreddit is about due to the blurbs (which, btw, are the literary equivalent of oatmeal. Go girl, give us nothing).

- A ship subreddit just fully went private due to the mourning

- I see Bookstagram accounts creating “mockups” of the next possible book using the same constrasting ombré fade we all used on our middle school PowerPoint backgrounds circa 2003

- Sloopies are using this as an opportunity to shit on Nesta (nothing new there)

- Different Sloopies are using it as an opportunity to gas Nesta up (also nothing new there)

- The rant sub made an entire megathread saying they all have to be nice to each other and talk about being excited (Unfollow.) They also made a circlejerk flair. That’s a trademark violation and I think we should get the -Mails on it

- The shipdebate sub thinks they have clairvoyance

- A sloopie who can code (who knew) deciphered that the images this morning were real, and when asked how she knew to look for certain IPs she simply responded “Taylor Swift.”

- Another sloopie is comparing Bryce to, checks notes… George Washington.

- Sloopies on main said they were crying screaming throwing up so much that they had to take the day off work

- Spiders. I feel like the cephalopods fans would be all over this.

- In my travels I also came across an SJM Conspiracy Theory subreddit with 3 weekly visitors…anyone interested in a coup?

I’m prepared to face public lashings for such a blatant disregard of our lovely overlords mods here, but we gotta jerk while the circle is hot mamis! 💃🏼

As a huge swiftie, I often think about how some people treat ACOTAR and how it reminds me of TS treatment. If it’s any other book series, and someone doesn’t like it, they just move on, maybe to a different genre or author.

But with acotar? They NEED to tell you they HATE IT!!!

Like okayy??

And that they hate the characters, Rhysand, Nesta, anyone, and create the most random theories, to make you feel stupid and bad for loving it.

Same with TS, people somehow have the need to tell you, and share with you their hatred. You could just move on, listen to your favourite artist, but no 🤷🏻‍♀️

I need more redhead FMC. I want to start a review series on redheads in literature but mostly in fantasy. As a natural redhead myself I find we're drawn to things of magic and whimsy ✨ it is however hard to find a redhead FMC who is not hyper sexualized or that seem authentic. There are unique genetic qualities people having the mutated MC1R gene have and I want to explore how authors portray them if they even do. Either way I want to read as many as I can find where the discrepancies are. On my review list so far:

{For whom the belle tolls by jaysea lynn}

{The seer and the sword by Victoria Hanley}

{The Legionnaire trilogy by Samantha Traunfel}

{Shield of Sparrows} and {Rites of the Starling by Devney Perry}

{Crescent City by Sarah J Maas}

Currently reading {Firestorm by Kayla Robinson}

Please drop your recommendations below.

I love everything dark, light, cozy, traumatic. Give me all of the redheads please 👩🏻‍🦰🫡

eta: if you recommend me a book I have heard not great things about I'll give it a go though (even if it's just a hate read) to be like "she is not a real redhead.” She probably actually has shit brown hair. Only I can be the True Judge of what being a redhead really means.

ITS AUGUST FIRST

NO MY BINGO CARD ISN’T DONE BUT IM THINKING ABOUT FILLING IT OUT

MODS DONT DELEEEEETE

(It’s totally fine to delete)

https://www.reddit.com/r/romantasycirclejerk/s/q3AgUFQSgd

“Fourth Wing is romantasy, but it has dragons in it so you might like it.”

It’s a line I’m sure a romantasy fan has likely told their uninitiated significant other. But no good deed goes unpunished. So let this be a warning. If Fourth Wing is your first dive into this pool, you better learn to swim in it real fast.

I’m not saying this series is the best of the best. That’s a matter of opinion and preference. But in terms of accessibility and broad appeal, this is at the top.

I’ve got a lot more reading to do but so far nothing has lived up to the first time. Everything so far just feels like it’s competing for second place. Starting with Fourth Wing somehow skips the foreplay and goes straight to mindblowing. This shouldn’t even be possible.

I’ll keep reading what she suggests, because it’s a lot of fun talking with her about it, but in the meantime, if anybody has other suggestions, I’ll take them.

Sincerely,

Mid-at-best Entitled Male

I’m once again hyper focused on the cum fountain from {Kiss of the Basilisk}.

How does it work? How many people are cumming in order to create the fountain? What is the thermal driving head or is there centrifugal pump with a reservoir?

No I will not be reading the book.

Thank you in advance.

Hate to be all TERF-y and don’t want to offend the SNOWFLAKES here, but men just don’t have uteruses!!!

Mpreg makes no sense. I hate to be part of the “tHeRe’s OnLy TwO gEnDeRs” crowd, but, like, what are we doing here????

I know it’s fantasy, but when is Enough, enough?

Don’t bring up the seahorses to me.

At least I can imagine several men jizzin into a basin and continuously recirculating cum using an electric pump or, in some specialized cases, relying on natural gravity and pressure.

Unrelated, “Spit or swallow” is a better title. At least I know what I’m getting into.

Full disclosure: I’m a husband who started reading romantasy for my fan girl wifey. None of her friends are into it, so I took the plunge so she could have someone to gab about it to. Yes, I’m incredible, but I’m spoken for so you can look but don’t touch <broody smirk>. (/sarcasm…kinda)

Anyways I’ve been reading the Empyrean series (bring romantasy elitist jerks) and I’ve plowed through the first two books and about a 1/4 of the third this past week. Our book club banter has been focused on how romantic some of the famous quotes actually are. Like 90% of the stuff Xaden tells Violet is just 100% fact.

The whole if you die I die thing, yea, that’s literally what would happen. My dude doesn’t want to die either.

I’ll find you anywhere in the universe bit? My guy can literally read her mind and see through her eyes. He’s got perma access to Google Maps-Violence Edition.

My take is that Xaden is just a nice guy, and Violet is reaching concerning obsessed stalker levels. Frankly I don’t know if I believe the majority of what she says about my dude anymore. She has become an unreliable narrator to me.

Anyways, I told her I was going to post this to Reddit and she didn’t believe me. Lesson here, don’t test me woman ❤️

**Edit because maybe it wasn’t obvious enough. Am I the only one who thinks this?**

I spent the last few days in a new city meeting new people (🤢).

I often find myself wondering if I were to ever meet a fellow Sloopie in the wild: what would they think of me? “Oh, wow, how does this very sexy and apparently successful lady have the time or energy to cultivate nearly 200k karma?” (Answer: I’m weird and currently unemployed).

How would we recognize each other? What would be chat about?

I found myself this weekend chatting with near-strangers about my favorite Romantasy book {Ninth House}, as its setting became a topic of conversation. I mentioned the author’s other series {Shadow and Bone} had a Netflix show, in case they’d heard of it.

One of the ladies I was with got immediately excited: “OHMYGOD I loved that series!” And I began to wonder if I had a bonafide Sloopie on my hands here.

She then goes , “ohh I also love…the books with the thorn? You know…a thorn of…what is it?”

Me, 🧐: “ACOTAR.”

Hers “Yes! Roland or whoever, he’s my fav.”

Me, eyes-rolling into the back of ny optic nerve: “Rhysand?”

Her: “omg you’re totally right! He’s like my boyfriend.”

Needless to say, this was not a long lost Sloopie finally found.

My journey in anonymity continues…

I’m currently almost halfway to my local bookstore to buy my first Romantasy book. Wanted to start an AMA for fun !

eta: uj/ ok, so this was just me dunking on some fool on another (non-book) subreddit I frequent, but y'all inspired me to go to my bookstore, and I answered u/Fimbrethil420 scavenger hunt below.

Hey Sloop-a-doops.

This may be difficult for many of you to accept, but I DO actually have a life outside of trolling Reddit and answering daily, repeated requests for completed series and standalones only on main.

I’m at a crossroads in my life right now.

My journey as a strung-out doctoral student is sunsetting as I dive back into the abyss of Being An Adult again.

Soon, I have to meet new people. I have to co-create meaningful relationships. I have to network. 🤢 🤮

Upon being forced to review my hobbies earlier tonight,
I came to the depressing conclusion that most have been sacrificed to the God of Death Dissertation over the years, and all I’m left with is a) reading Romantasy and b) circlejerking to Romantasy.

Sad.

As I lamented the life I’ve created for myself, my sister commented, “Well, at least being a mod on Reddit is kind of an achievement,” to which I wailed, “I’m not even a mod; I’m just in it for the love of the game.” A true hobby.

So, slurpie sloops, what do you think? Is RCJing a hobby? An achievement? Something to be proud of?

And if so, where are we listing it on our CVs?

Professional Experience?
Research?
Publications?
AWARDS?!

V/r,
General Snark 🫡

I am currently reading {Dude, Where’s My Horse?} by Marie Curie and one of the main races besides human is Wendego.

I have tried googling but I keep getting these terrifying, deer-like monster with massive antlers, glowing eyes, and vicious claws, which do NOT fit the description in the book.

In the book they are described as an emaciated, skeletal human with desiccated, ash-grey skin.

I don’t know if this is the right place to ask if anyone has a picture or knows more details about this race so I can form a better picture. However, this is a romantasy book and I figured the race had to of shown up in other books also.

uj/ heavily inspired by a copy pasta, but can only pick one flair