u/iwantout2026

This is just a rant, I just need to get this off my chest because I cannot tell anyone close to me. It’s credit card and loan debt and I’ve been trying so hard to pay it off but it just never ends. I’m working 2 jobs and all of the money goes to debt and everyday bills. I can’t even save up for a ticket to go see my parents overseas and either way i can’t take off work because im one paycheck away from being behind on everything. I was trying to avoid filing for bankruptcy at all costs but I don’t think it matters much since I probably wouldn’t qualify for it. I’ve ruined my life im so stupid and irresponsible. My bf doesn’t know how bad it is because I hide it as well as I can. I pay for my share of things so he has no reason to suspect I’m drowning. A few months ago I was so depressed a coworker gave me a “legal” happy pill that numbed the anxiety and now I’m addicted to those too. I’m making bad decisions left and right. I make minimum payments and if I can I’ll add more but sometimes I’m short on actual cash and have to use the credit cards again. I don’t know how to get myself out of this cycle I got myself into. My mom is the only reason I’m still here, what is the point otherwise. I’m so embarrassed and overwhelmed I pray I win the lottery and pay it off so I can breathe again. Thanks for listening