Bucin di umur 30?
Hi guys. I don't even know where to start. For a bit of context, I almost hit 30. I only ever dated once. Back in junior high school. I'm not even sure if you could call it a date. It was just cinta monyet. Main-main like a teenager we were. Most of my life, I don't have problems being single. That's why everytime I see jokes about jomblo, I was never really related to that. Like, "lucunya di mana?", "memang kenapa kalo sendiri?"
Fast forward. Since the beginning of July, I've been seeing this woman on social media. She just appeared out of nowhere on my home feed. Long story short, after I saw her post and photos, I think I like her. This is not the first time this pattern happens btw: liat perempuan random di medsos -> ngeliat profilnya -> tertarik -> pengen kenalan.
But this time it hits different. This is the first time, that upon seeing this woman, I'm thinking to myself:
- "I need to improve myself first before facing her"
- "Aku harus beresin beberapa hal dulu sebelum bisa kenalan dengan dia"
- "Aku harus memantaskan diri dulu sebelum dia bisa ngeliat aku"
Ever since, aktivitas yg biasanya kulakukan karena diriku sendiri berubah menjadi, "Aku harus ngelakuin ini/rutin ngelakuin ini supaya lebih pantas untuk dia"
I don't know if this is a healthy habit or not. Because of that, I was seeing a psikolog last week.
Honestly, there are so many things I wanna ask. But I'm afraid of oversharing. So I just wanted to express this feeling. If you want to give me advice, share your similar experince, feel free to drop them.