u/kingofdoorknobs

I guess it started with the giant Trump banners the year he lost. It’s a corner lot, and the guy who presumably owns it keeps it like the mausoleum of a saint.

 

We had a little relationship at first, normal neighbor stuff during which he complained that Corpus used to be a nice town, but “new” people moved in. Brownly ones I eventually deduced.

 

I walked the dog, the guy got pissed, we had words, it was an eff off moment and I was done with him I thought. Generally, I avoided the place or was lucky enough to pass by when he wasn’t there, but this morning I forgot, and there he was in all his ass-holiness hand watering the lawn. The water conservation watering day wasn’t good enough for him.

 

The dog sniffed a palm tree, he came over and sprayed the dog, the dog moved. We went along, the dog sniffed at a dirt clod. The same old bullshit story that had happened years ago.

“I don’t shit and piss on your property.” The dog hadn’t done either, maybe a scent spot. This makes no difference in his argument.

 

So there he is, all balled up in anger. Fists clenched, belly bump mode, like a fucking gun-slinger, ordering me to do this and that, none necessary. Yell, threat, scream order. I got out the hammer. I just wanted him to know I had it.

We were 20 feet apart. I can’t even throw one that far, and now he had been threatened with a hammer, he claimed. He was gonna call the cops. “I’d take ya with the hammer.” He was trying to entice me into making the first move.

 

“I’m 82, I can’t survive a fight, I’d only have a one-percent chance of winning even with the hammer, but I would have a chance, and you won’t do shit." was my reasoning. Eventually the dog decided it was time to go. He always decides.

So that’s it. But I’ve always wondered how that guy got the sidewalks replaced on both sides of a corner lot during the recent street renovations. No one else did.

So I'm on a trike ride with the dog this morning, and since it's Sunday, he took the bay route. We only go on Sundays because Ocean Drive can be a bitch to cross any other day. It's a Bermuda Triangle alright. You just can't calculate all the ways people can fail to see or consider you, or all the ways you can fail to see them. Ocen Drive is a place where bad luck blooms.

Anyway, it was a still morning, the sun was coming up, the bay was flat and reflective and just enough haze to blend everything together. Picture perfect, but maybe needing a few dolphins which a quietly approaching gentleman asked about. "Seen any dolphins? "No, but it needs some," I said. He asked me about my house on the corner which had burnt. "all put together," I said. "That's good," he said, "isn't it beautiful." He waved at the scene.

"Yeah," I said. "Maybe we've gone over the edge." "The edge?" he said. "Of life," I answered. "This could be the end. "Oh," he said. "I've been to the other side," and handed me a card with a garish picture of Jesus with a flaming sword, I mean Guadalupe garish.

Jack Cartwell it read

Godalator.

I knew it was gonna be a long morning.