u/kranken600

▲ 125 r/2random4u

Spain is being invaded by Muslim migrants and I have declared a 2nd reconkeesta. Hold on brothers of Christ, help is on the way.

u/kranken600 — 21 days ago

Give me a serious 5 week weight loss plan. I have a wedding coming up and I don't fit into my suit. I need to lose 20lbs.

picrel is roughly my current physique.

u/kranken600 — 23 days ago
▲ 223 r/2random4u+1 crossposts

The lord of the cock rings: The twinks tower

*sam kissed frodos ear*

Frodo: Oh Sam, you must go home

*sam blushes*

Sam: Mr.Frodo, you know we must go on until the ring is destroyed

*Frodo pounces on Sam cutely*

Frodo: And how do you expect we do that Sam?

*Frodo looks at Sams lips and smiles*

Sam: Yes, I have an Idea. I am going to take the ring and bury it deep...deep inside the bottom of...

*Sam pauses and playfully tosses Frodo onto his tummy*

Frodo: Oh my goodness Sam, bury it deep where? uwu

*Sam runs his meaty fingers down from Frodos neck to his back*

Sam: This is for me to know and for you to find out

*Sam slowly pulls down Frodos trousers*

Sam: The ring? Where is the ring Mr.Frodo? Let me take it so I can share the load.

Frodo: Yes sam I want you to take it..

*Frodo puts the ring on his tongue*

Sam: You are a playful one I must admit Mr.Frodo

*Frodo giggles cutely*

*Sam unzips his trousers and inserts his erect cock into Frodos mouth*

Sam: Mmm yes Mr.Frodo..now just out the ring on nghhhh

*Frodos eyes start to water cutely*

Frodo: glug glug glug ..there you go Sam.

*Sams cheeks begin to turn red*

Sam: It's time I begin the deed of destroying this tight little ring..

Frodo: Fucking do it.

*Sam pins little Frodo down and begins to fill his bottom*

Frodo: Yes sam YES , bury it . bury the ring ! Destroy it deep it must be deep!!

*Sam begins entering Frodo deeper and deeper*

Sam: I can feel the ring getting tighter around me as I grow in girth...I can feel it penetrates deep inside the place it must be destroyed. I shall finish the deed Mr Fodo

*Frodos eyes roll to the back of his head cutely*

Frodo: NGHHHHHHHHH

Sam: NGHHHHHHHHH

*Sam vigorously pounds Mr.Frodo deep in his bottom, pushing the ring futher and further inside him*

Sam: I can feel it ! It's about to be destroyed hnnnnggg !

*Frodo immersed in such pleasure he can barely put together a coherent sentence*

Frodo: S..aAA..mmm uhhhhh!!!!

*Sams balls plapping and smacking against Frodos*

Sam: UGGHHHHHHHHH

....to be continued

u/kranken600 — 23 days ago

Do we need Canada?

What do they actually provide the world other than maple syrup and dirty oil that we can now get for free from the Venezuelans?

u/kranken600 — 28 days ago

Ok class, today we are going to learn how to safely remove a broken beer bottle from your anal cavity

why are they like this?

u/kranken600 — 1 month ago

Americans on CNN are panicking about forest fire smoke

Bunch of fucking babies
"put on your N95 masks you're going to die!"
"STAY INDOORS"...

Never been around a campfire before? Get a grip losers.

u/kranken600 — 1 month ago