

Spain is being invaded by Muslim migrants and I have declared a 2nd reconkeesta. Hold on brothers of Christ, help is on the way.
Give me a serious 5 week weight loss plan. I have a wedding coming up and I don't fit into my suit. I need to lose 20lbs.
picrel is roughly my current physique.
The lord of the cock rings: The twinks tower
*sam kissed frodos ear*
Frodo: Oh Sam, you must go home
*sam blushes*
Sam: Mr.Frodo, you know we must go on until the ring is destroyed
*Frodo pounces on Sam cutely*
Frodo: And how do you expect we do that Sam?
*Frodo looks at Sams lips and smiles*
Sam: Yes, I have an Idea. I am going to take the ring and bury it deep...deep inside the bottom of...
*Sam pauses and playfully tosses Frodo onto his tummy*
Frodo: Oh my goodness Sam, bury it deep where? uwu
*Sam runs his meaty fingers down from Frodos neck to his back*
Sam: This is for me to know and for you to find out
*Sam slowly pulls down Frodos trousers*
Sam: The ring? Where is the ring Mr.Frodo? Let me take it so I can share the load.
Frodo: Yes sam I want you to take it..
*Frodo puts the ring on his tongue*
Sam: You are a playful one I must admit Mr.Frodo
*Frodo giggles cutely*
*Sam unzips his trousers and inserts his erect cock into Frodos mouth*
Sam: Mmm yes Mr.Frodo..now just out the ring on nghhhh
*Frodos eyes start to water cutely*
Frodo: glug glug glug ..there you go Sam.
*Sams cheeks begin to turn red*
Sam: It's time I begin the deed of destroying this tight little ring..
Frodo: Fucking do it.
*Sam pins little Frodo down and begins to fill his bottom*
Frodo: Yes sam YES , bury it . bury the ring ! Destroy it deep it must be deep!!
*Sam begins entering Frodo deeper and deeper*
Sam: I can feel the ring getting tighter around me as I grow in girth...I can feel it penetrates deep inside the place it must be destroyed. I shall finish the deed Mr Fodo
*Frodos eyes roll to the back of his head cutely*
Frodo: NGHHHHHHHHH
Sam: NGHHHHHHHHH
*Sam vigorously pounds Mr.Frodo deep in his bottom, pushing the ring futher and further inside him*
Sam: I can feel it ! It's about to be destroyed hnnnnggg !
*Frodo immersed in such pleasure he can barely put together a coherent sentence*
Frodo: S..aAA..mmm uhhhhh!!!!
*Sams balls plapping and smacking against Frodos*
Sam: UGGHHHHHHHHH
....to be continued
Do we need Canada?
What do they actually provide the world other than maple syrup and dirty oil that we can now get for free from the Venezuelans?
Ok class, today we are going to learn how to safely remove a broken beer bottle from your anal cavity
why are they like this?
If this list was made today where do you think he would put Indians?
Americans on CNN are panicking about forest fire smoke
Bunch of fucking babies
"put on your N95 masks you're going to die!"
"STAY INDOORS"...
Never been around a campfire before? Get a grip losers.