u/kyusrak08

People were tagging their friends in the comments saying “my friend @xx love this game” sarcastically I’m so embarrassed 😭😭

Link: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/192727/paragon

Hi everyone. After some pretty brutal critique here I completely re-wrote the first chapter and feel pretty confident about it now.

I just finished the second chapter and put a lot of thought into it. You can either read the first chapter for context or read the summary of it below:

The most famous superhero in the world, Atlas, feels a strong ache throughout his body. He flies to an island, Starcrest, to meet his friend Helix who says Atlas is overworked. They are preparing for an event known as The Unveiling where they will be introduced as a team. A girl known as Vulture barges in because she’s injured and needs Helix’s help too. Atlas leaves and tries to fly back, but faints and falls into the ocean in the middle of nowhere.

What I'm worried about this time is:

1. Does the book feel like it's setting up something instead of things naturally taking place in it?

2. Does it feel like I'm info dumping? Should I abridge it further?

Thank you.