u/lightheartedlikeness

Without telling you the whole long story.....
I've been waiting since April to meet my surgeon, I met him Tuesday, finally, and we are a go for a partial nephrectomy in a month.
what I'm leery about is 3 spots found on my chest CT during staging, they are small but one particular spot is labeled "suspicious" due to location and it's the biggest spot of the 3. It's only 5 mm, so am I being hyper sensitive in worrying a bit? I'm a worrier anyway, but I don't believe in coincidence, and a lot of stories lately have been popping in my feed of people who were told they were only needing surgery to having the cancer some back only months to a few years later. I don't mean just kidney cancer, I mean cancer in general.
Anyway, thanks for the support and listening to a worry wort.

It's been just over two months since my stowaway was discovered , incidentally . I'm 54 newly dx diabetic with years of fighting off insulin resistance with diet from PCOS when my pcp did routine labs, discovering my liver enzymes were elevated, so she wanted to take a " peak" at my liver and we found a2.9 cm Clingon attached to my R kidney, they also discovered my main bile duct was unusually dilated , at the same to add more anxiety to the salad bowl of crummy news. My PCP ordered an MRCP mri which did not visualize the mass well so my first appt to the Urologist was a moot point as he was unable to visualize my tumor very well. He sent me back home ( 2 hrs away) to have more testing and in the meantime I had a trip to the local ED due to blood in my urine.. they did a CT and the urologist was happy with the results , called me in to inform me the tumor may be small but it's abutting the renal artery , rein veins and Ureter. This makes me a " complex" case, normally I wouldn't be biopsied but since I'm being referred to a tertiary center, a biopsy is needed the verdict ...ccRCC. Im in New England,so I've been referred to Dana Farber in Boston. It's 4 hours 1 way from my home.
I can't even get in to see the Surgeon until 8/11 so who knows when surgery will be.
I feel like I've been dealing with this forever , I just want my PN if it's even feasible by the time they see me.
While we were in the " ruling out " stage I had all this support and love sent my way, it's been 2 weeks since we found out the biopsy results and I have been ghosted by all of that support I thought I had.
I have been on an emotional roller coaster for days. I'm trying to stay positive but some days it's extremely hard.
Thank you for allowing me this space to vent .
I wish everyone well ❤️