Why do men assume you'll wait for them?
This is a mini rant. I hate when men will decide to break up with you/ghost you to go deal with their issues and come back to you as if all that time I should have been sitting around waiting for them to come back. I have two scenarios where this happened to me and I was ready to unleash that famous meru temper.
Scenario 1: I had an fwb when I was in my 4th year, he was finishing up his masters and we were just two people who were having a good time till feelings started developing. We started talking more seriously about becoming exclusive and going all in on our romantic feelings. Now this guy didn't have the best home life (if I remember correctly his dad was abusive) and he was just worried about what next in his life. I was always there to listen to him, comfort him etc. While we were dating he got an opportunity to go to Germany do his PhD and work there. I was so excited for him and we talked about how we can do long distance and I could apply for masters programmes in Germany so we can be reunited.
In the midst of him preparing to go to Germany and he falls out with his dad, he just stopped talking to me. I started calling, sending messages etc thinking something disrupted his plans. But I didn't hear from him till after 6 months. At that point I had gone through the whole healing journey, I was graduating, great internship lined up, I was putting myself out there again. Tell me why did this man message me out of the blue, this man messages me apologising, giving me a long sob story on how the first few months in Germany were so hard on him but now that he's settled he wanted us to resume our relationship. After no communication for 6 months!!! I even thought something happened to him. Now that his life was going well, he wants me back. When I finally agreed to talk to him on the phone I just told him that I had moved on and didn't want someone who could just abandon me so easily. Imagine he had the nerve to be upset with me for moving on... I was gobsmacked. I literally told him off and said that I wasn't going to sit around waiting till he got his shit together for us to get back together. I mean relationships are a partnership, since we were building that I was very ready to support him through anything but he wanted to suffer alone.
Maybe one day I'll give you guys scenario 2 cause it was also very crazy.
Moral of the story for the guys, don't leave the girl you want cause you're going through tough times. We actually want to be there with you and support you through it (if we like you). If you decide to suffer through it solo be prepared for that person to not want you back when you figure your shit out.
End of rant.