u/m0ldy_peaches

Hi reddit, back with an update and asking for tips on how to care for dementia patients. 

link to my original post, read for context:

https://www.reddit.com/r/HomeHealthAide/comments/1t32kbh/just_another_barley_trained_new_in_home_care_aide/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=post_embed&utm_term=1&utm_content=1

I did talk to my bosses and thankfully the care coordinator came to help me… for like 3 more days. And she was an hour late… and left early. So I still don’t think I’m trained enough. However I’m more comfortable asking for help from the son if I need it. The care coordinator did show me a better way of lifting her when it’s time to get her on the toilet. I’m only there for 3 hours and usually the family wants her to sit on the toilet once while I’m there. This is the hardest part of my shift; she only has one leg and it’s pretty hard to get them on when it’s wet because she clenches her one leg and she has alot of flab. Plus she’s pretty weak so she’s never standing upright, and never for more than like 15 seconds. I have her give me a hug, hold her up while trying to pull the depends over her bottom. I have ripped like 5 depends just trying to get a new one for her. But again, this is the hardest part of my shift. They want her to sit on the toilet so doing it on the bed doesn’t really make sense. She’d have to use the toilet, then i’d have to wheel her to the bed with no underwear on to get the diaper on. I haven’t tried it but i think it might be slightly easier even though it may take longer.

The rest of it is just sitting with her. She has a beautiful property so I wheel her outside alot to sit on the porch and she seems to enjoy it. Or we sit inside at the table. We have blocks, books and stuff to color with. She also likes to hold a cloth and wipe the table down. I have been reading some articles about good activities to do with her that I am comfortable with. She has a really good grip and rips stuff alot. I also help with feeding. She has a tendency to push her plate away, try to flip it, or use her water cup (closed lid with straw) and try to pour it all over on her food. With patience (I try not to go over 40 minutes) she’ll eat most of it. It’s kinda hard to wrestle the cup from her, again she has a really good grip. I tried bringing some apples so we can both eat together. 

I don’t think I’m there to improve her memory, more of an aide that helps keep her safe and companionship. But I would love to know what kind of triggers she has and how to relieve them. Sometimes I think whe there’s alot of stuff on the table it overwhelms her. Also if anyone has tips on how to put depends on while standing up with with limited mobility? Or tips on what we could do together?

My mom works for a in home care aide agency and after some awful months in retail, my mom convinced me to work with this agency for a bit. My mom has only had clients that need some companionship, light housework and the occasional trip out. Sounded doable. Like alot of people, I was not given too much training at all. It also doesn’t help that I was taken off one antidepressant and put on another during my first week. I have no medical training what so ever but I have watched some videos on transferring and lifting. 

My first ever client is mostly quiet and pleasant and lives with 2 sons and elderly husband. She only has one leg and needs help with transfers, toileting, diapers, all that stuff. I only work for 3 hours 4 times a week.  I do have an amazing coordinator who is very kind and supportive when I shadowed her. But on my 2nd day she was an hour late and today, only the 3rd day on the job, she didn’t come in and I was alone.  I had no idea what I was doing. Alot of this particular clients needs are companion based which I can do, but when it comes to the bathing and toileting I just feel like physically im not strong enough. Just dead weight. I have watched someone bathe her but actually doing it by myself was difficult and I felt so bad for her today. 

I have pretty bad issues with anxiety and guilt. I feel so uncomfortable just sitting around when she’s sleeping (working retail the last 6 years makes me feel like I always have to be doing something on the clock) and even when I ask him he usually just says everything's fine. I don’t think they know that I have literally no experience with changing, transferring or bathing clients.  My boss made it seem like all I would be doing was light housework and companionship. When I explained I only have watched her get a sponge bath once and that my coordinator would be back tomorrow. But the guilt and awkwardness made me feel like i had to at least try, and I did get her diaper changed and her intimate areas wiped and powdered. I looked like an idiot but I was alone so hey. I KNOW I need to ask for help. Not just for my safety but the clients as well but all I can think of is how the family probably needs a break from caring for. That’s what I’m there for! What good am I for if I can’t do this for 3 hours by myself? Even when one of the sons did help me get her on the toilet he kinda made it seem like he was annoyed that he was doing anything at all which is so real. Like they’re paying for someone to care for their beloved mom and yet here I am barely trained and looking crazy. The 3 days I’ve been with her the care coordinator has praised me for how I interact with her and I always make sure to thank the family when they do help me. I care for her like she was my own family member. I think I may be too anxious for a role like this.