u/meraki_beauty

My entire back is as red as a tomato. Just breathing in my work uniform is killing me. I regret today's gardening haha. Made so much progress with it and can finally start putting in my flowers. But holy cow! Thank goodness its supposed to storm all day tomorrow. That means i get a break and will hopefully sleep good. I slept 2.5 hours tonight. The pain is UNREAL! I really forgot I have that nightshift skin

Its so weird! I was outside gardening all day with my fiance and then we took our pup to a pool. Its so crazy most nights I'd be dragging. But I'm so excited to do it all over again tomorrow! We have over 40 flowers to plant and 2 bushes! And then i work again tomorrow night. Feeling like wonder woman!

I'm struggling tonight. I'm in my feels and I can't talk to anyone about it because everyone is asleep. I'm just spiraling and I just wish I had a good distraction or something tonight because I hate sitting in my sad feelings. At least there's only 4 hours until I can just lay in bed and just feel everything... ugh

I miss rearranging my home. I can't move furniture anymore. 2 years ago i realized this. So I stopped rearranging our home. Because Every time I rearranged any furniture I would throw myself into such a bad flare. Last week I decided to try it again. So I was moving our love seat and gym equipment. Threw myself into a horrific flare. So thinking it was a coincidence... I tried it again today. I wanted to prove to myself I can do it without help. So I rearranged our dressers in our room. And what do you know? I'm in so much pain and am cramping with a horrific migraine.

Why? Why do we have to survive? Like i want to just live and do what I love without consequences. Why is it we have to choose? I have to make my fiance do all the heavy lifting now. But I miss surprising him to a rearranged home. I miss getting to feel strong. Now I just feel weak. I used to be a base in cheerleading. I would throw girls up in the air for hours during our stunt practices... and now? I have to make my fiance do everything. I hate this. I sobbed in his arms tonight. I miss the old me. The strong me... this is so unfair

Mine is WHEN MY CO WORKERS OPEN MY BAGS! Like literally its been less frequent but it still happens often. I set my bag down in our office to sign in. They open it and look at what I bring for my lunch. "Cuz I got the good food" or they take my spare drinks from my side pockets. Cool. So I kept it on my arm and didn't set it down. STILL! THEY WOULD PEEK AND OPEN MY PURSE FROM MY SHOULDER! so fine I changed my bag from an open bag to a zip up. I set it down next to me and TELL ME WHY THEY UNZIP MY BAG! like I said its not as often anymore. But it happened tonight. They literally grabbed my spare coffee and spilled my other one that was open. Like come on. Also im a woman. I keep my feminine stuff in there. Plus I get uncomfortable when people see me eat or make comments on my food. It just really makes me feel uncomfortable. I should mention these are men in their like 30s to their 50s I'm 26

Or my crazy stalker ex... but Like let me be freeeeeeee. But my fiance loves when I send them to him haha