My new stylist treats my hair like it’s a problem and I can’t tell if she’s right
I have long 4C hair that I usually wear in silk presses year-round. I get it done every 2 weeks as of last December when I colored my hair chocolate brown. Early this year I switched to a new stylist because my previous one moved farther away.
My new stylist is very anti-color and says she doesn’t do color services because it damages hair and people don’t maintain it well. At my last appointment, I asked if I could get my roots touched up in a way that blended with my existing color. She said no at first, then later offered to use a natural color just to cover greys, which I agreed to. Her reasoning was that my hair “didn’t take the previous color well” and is very dry.
The thing is, I’ve always had hair that tangles easily if it’s not managed a certain way — even before coloring it. Before silk presses, I mostly wore twist-outs and braid-outs on blow-dried hair. Over time I learned my hair does best when it’s washed and detangled in sections. I usually detangle before washing, again with conditioner in, and again after rinsing because if my hair stays wet too long without being tended to, it can tangle heavily or even start matting.
During my appointment, she had me sit under a steamer after washing. A section of my hair became matted at the bowl from sitting wet too long. When she noticed it, I heard her suck her teeth. After she finally detangled my hair, she showed me the brush and said, “Look how much hair. This isn’t normal.”
What I’m trying to figure out is:
- Does this actually sound like color damage?
- Or does it sound more like my hair naturally needs a different detangling/wash process that my previous stylist understood better?
- Is it possible for a stylist who mainly works on looser textures or different routines to mistake normal 4C shedding/tangling for damage?
- And moving forward, should I find a stylist who is more experienced with dense 4C hair specifically, especially since I do wear silk presses often?
For context, my previous stylist handled my hair in a very similar way to how I do at home, without me even having to explain it, and I rarely felt like my hair was being treated as a problem or inconvenience.