Stubborn boy potty trained naked but not while clothed? HELP
Desperate for help- my 3.5yo starts preschool in 3 weeks and must be completely potty trained we have been stuck at 90% for months. Meaning when he’s at home, most of the time he will go without being prompted or reminded and stays dry out of the house with typical “hey let’s try and go to the bathroom before we get back in the car” conversations but for the last few months it is infuriating he ALWAYS poops in his underwear. At first I thought it was a constipation issue (and still struggle with it but working better with probiotics and fiber) and I started leaving him bottomless during nap/quiet time and a little potty in his room and without fail DAILY he pees/poops in there on his own. So I left him pantless while we’re at home and again- without a big deal or reminders he always goes.
This tells me: he is absolutely and completely capable of reading and listening to his own body cues and when pantless will get up from playing and walk to the bathroom and come back. But once he has underwear on he treats it like a diaper (which we truly haven’t used during the day in close to a YEAR, it’s not like we go back and forth) and just becomes lazy and poops in his underwear and now also peeing in his underwear too unless we remind or make him go.
How do I fix this?? I’m thinking of going back to baseline 0 and staying home for a few days naked until he’s used to relying on his own cues and then add in an hour or so of going somewhere with pants and reward for staying dry. Does anyone suggest disciplining for accidents at this stage? He understands where to use the bathroom obviously and is CHOOSING not to but I see so much about not shaming them and I’m just at my wits end. HELP.
Also adding we have a chart with stickers taped to a giant marble run toy he’s been wanting and anytime he goes by himself without being told he gets a sticker and if he has an accident we take one away. He needs 30 to get the toy and it’s out on the counter everyday for him to see. He can explain the system to others so he understands for sure. His preschool bathroom is outside the room so he will need to verbally tell a teacher if he has to go and I cannot even get him to say it or admit when he is going now and I’m worried he’ll just stay quiet and have accidents and then he’ll be disenrolled because that’s their policy for multiple accidents.