u/noctambulocurioso

TL;DR: Should I push for a SEN student to be withdrawn from a couple of lessons for targeted 1:1 support, or accept my Pastoral Leader’s view that they should remain in lessons despite struggling?

Hi everyone. Hopefully this doesn’t go against guidelines - I’ve tried to make it as vague as possible while preserving important context.

I’m a Teaching Assistant in a mainstream secondary school in the UK, supporting several students with SEND, including one I’ve worked closely with for the past couple of years.

The student has identified learning needs and is awaiting further assessment for additional needs. They’re working significantly below age-related expectations academically and benefit from extra support, but they’re often reluctant to accept help because they don’t want to stand out from their peers. I try to keep any support as discreet as possible. From my perspective, the classroom environment itself is one of the biggest barriers, with anxiety around being seen as struggling seeming to have a major impact. On the few occasions we’ve worked 1:1 outside the classroom, they’ve demonstrated abilities that aren’t usually evident during lessons.

Our working relationship can be inconsistent. At times they engage well with me and accept support, at other times they refuse help altogether. I’ve found that pushing harder rarely helps, and instead I have to give them space until they’re ready to work with me again.

Over the past year, they’ve become increasingly disengaged from learning. They often avoid lessons, spend time out of class, and reject support from both teachers and support staff. Although they’re not usually disruptive, they can become argumentative if they feel pressured or challenged. My impression is that much of this behaviour stems from feeling overwhelmed and trying to regain a sense of control, rather than simply not wanting to engage.

Recently, the student was struggling to complete an important piece of work in a key subject despite several lessons being allocated to it. At the time they weren’t accepting my support, so I deliberately avoided pushing because I felt it would be counterproductive.

A few days later, our relationship improved, and I asked whether they’d like to come out of a non-core lesson to continue the work in a quieter environment. They agreed, and during that session they made more progress than they had across several classroom lessons with only minimal prompting. We also had a valuable conversation about how difficult they find school and how that affects their engagement. I felt that this one session achieved far more than remaining in a lesson they were unlikely to participate in.

However, my Pastoral Leader wasn’t happy that I’d withdrawn the student from a lesson without prior approval and asked me to seek permission in future. Other TAs don’t need permission to take SEN students out for 1:1 support when they feel it is appropriate, but I agreed to do so.

The following day I asked whether I could withdraw the student from the remaining lessons in that same subject this year (only two or three lessons in total). My intention was to either help them catch up on missed learning in core subjects or begin a structured emotional literacy programme that I’ve recently been trained to deliver and have SENDCo approval to use with this student. I felt this would be a better use of the time than insisting they attend lessons in a subject they consistently struggle to engage with and won’t be continuing next year.

The answer was a firm no. The Pastoral Leader felt that consistency and attending timetabled lessons was more important, and that lessons shouldn’t become optional.

I don’t know what to do.

Part of me wants to raise the issue with the SENDCo or another senior member of staff because I genuinely believe targeted intervention would be more beneficial than insisting the student attends lessons where previous experience suggests nothing will be achieved other than stressing the student out more.

The other part of me feels I should simply accept the decision. Perhaps consistency is the more important consideration, and perhaps this isn’t a battle worth fighting over just a couple of lessons. I’m conscious that I’m relatively new to education compared with the staff making these decisions. At the same time, I work with this student all day every day and feel I know them well, which makes it difficult when my instincts differ from those of my colleagues.

I realise I'm probably overthinking this, but that's just who I am. I don’t want to damage working relationships over two lessons, especially as we’ll likely be working together for some time. Equally, I don’t want to become someone who simply accepts decisions without respectfully advocating for a student when I genuinely believe there’s a better option. I don’t feel listened to or trusted by Pastoral.

Would you continue advocating for what you believe is in the student’s best interests, or accept the decision and move on?

Thanks for reading - any advice is hugely appreciated ❤️