After 6 years of lamictal
I am finally off this medication. I have been terrified to get off. Thinking the only reason I was alive was because of this med.
My ‘stable’ dose was 150mg.
My doctor helped me lower my dose safely over the course of 6 months.
I’m diagnosed with ADHD and do take 20mg of Adderal per day.
But for the past 4 years I’ve been experiencing the most insane symptoms. I gained 40 pounds. My acne got SO much worse. The occasional breakout became permanent. Weird depression. No interest in anything I know I loved doing. Paralyzing fear. I wouldn’t be able to move. It was a chore to work. Leave the house. Take a shower. Strange compulsions and obsessions. Repeating every single interaction I had every day. The memory issues alone scared me SO badly. Insomnia. Food aversions. Debilitating GI issues. Anxiety feeling in my stomach and chest none stop. Irregular periods and spotting. Constantly tired, sore, joint pain, and overall malaise. Every time I’d try an increase my dose, I’d feel relief for a few weeks, and then everything would come right back.
I did not have these things before lamictal. I didn’t have a fraction of these symptoms before I sought mental health help. I now believe I may have been suffering from reactions to mirena birth control. I’ve not been diagnosed with BP, BPD, or epilepsy. But I do believe that I have PMDD. As most of my mood swings and symptoms are consistent with my menstrual cycle.
It’s been about 4 weeks now. And I’m not saying I’m cured, but I am saying that the constant noise of anxiety, depression, strange mental loops and paranoia are non existent. I can leave the house without stress. I’m not forgetting everything. No pain, I’m sleeping a full 8 hours a night with a bedtime before midnight. I’m back in the gym. I’ve lost 10 pounds. My face isn’t inflamed or puffy or sore.
I wish I would have done more research into other peoples experiences. I’ve seen so many folks talk about so many of these symptoms. But I had no idea that I was experiencing so many side effects. But more importantly, I do want to say that I am incredibly grateful. Lamictal got me sober. Lamictal helped me so much during Covid lockdown, that I don’t believe I could have made it thru without it. I believe that it served me at a time in my life that was truly life or death.
I’m grateful to be alive. I’m grateful that I can trust myself. That I feel worthy of mental health help in the first place. I wish I would have found you all much sooner in my journey. May you all find the relief you need to keep going. ❤️