Foster dog with separation anxiety: How to cope with possible adoption?
Hi everyone,
For 6 months now, I have been fostering a dog who suffers from massive separation anxiety and isolation distress. For the past few months, I have been giving him all my time, creating a safe bubble, and working on extremely slow training to teach him that being alone is safe. Because his needs are so intense, nobody was interested in adopting him for half a year. Naturally, we have formed an immense, deep bond during this time.
Now, a family with three small children has shown interest. Both parents work. Their plan is to take the dog to work with them:
If he is with the mother, he would have to wait alone in a separate room or a crate.
If he is with the father, he would need to spend most of the day inside a car.
Unfortunately, he is also absolutely terrified of car rides: he starts panicking and crying the second the engine starts running.
The family is genuinely nice, and I am certain they have good intentions and want to give a dog a loving forever home. But I am terrified that they are wearing rose-colored glasses. They completely underestimate how severe his issues are and that his training will take months, if not years, of absolute consistency.
I strongly feel they are the wrong fit for his specific psychological needs. However, the shelter is just happy that someone finally wants him and is pushing for a trial. The family is super excited and thinks they are "saving" him.
Meanwhile, I am feeling physically sick. I am completely heartbroken. I should be happy that there is an adoption interest, but I am filled with anxiety because I feel like this environment will likely traumatize him further. Knowing that I might have to hand him over to a situation that could very well fail is destroying me.
How do I deal with these overwhelming emotions?
Thank you so much for reading.