caffeine makes me unfreeze from life and feel like i have agency
i know you probably see a lot of these posts here but long story short, i drank coffee after one month without and suddenly the brain fog just lifted.
i have MOTIVATION and DRIVE. i feel like i have agency in my little world.
don't get me wrong, the problems are still there: dread about the current state of the world, anxiety, grief... but i feel like a person now. i do stupid stuff that costs me so much in everyday life.
i don't want to be dependent on an expensive imported exotic good that my ancestors did very well without.
i am doing some light exercise waking up, i try to get light, my sleep could be better but it's a more complicated matter to deal with right now.
i just want to "see" (in my mind's eye) clearly like i do after one freaking cup of coffee. HOW???