I hate my home
I hate my home.
I bought my first property 18 months ago. Everything seemed fine at purchase, survey included, but within three months I found out about a severe ongoing leak that had been damaging my downstairs neighbours for years. It’s a Victorian conversion, four flats. A structural engineer confirmed joist damage from the leak. Insurance wouldn’t cover it and even after getting a plumber out a few times the leaks just kept reoccurring.
I’d set aside £15k for furnishing and small jobs. Instead I ended up replacing the entire bathroom and kitchen because of the floor damage (they’re next to each other) on top of the structural work.
I couldn’t afford the bathroom or kitchen I actually wanted, and I’ve dealt with nothing but bad tradesmen along the way, so I’m not happy with either room. Neither looks freshly done to me. One builder stole a large sum of money from me. Several tradesmen made me deeply uncomfortable in my own home, from sexual comments/advances, one of them squeezing my bum to just being rude and dismissive.
I did find one decorator, just starting out, who charged me £1,500 to paint my whole 80sqm flat. Great price, great work. But I should have plastered first. Quotes for that were £5k+ and I couldn’t stretch to it, so now my walls are lumpy and textured under a nice coat of paint, and it just looks bad.
All told I’ve spent around £36k, including the £8.5k that was stolen, plus some furniture. There’s still so much left to do and I’m out of money.
I’m genuinely depressed about it. If I’d spent this much and ended up with a flat I loved, I could live with that. Instead I have an okay kitchen, an okay bathroom, lumpy walls, floors that need work, and a home that looks nothing like the ones I see online where people spent less and got a show home.
I know I’m lucky to own a home at all. But this whole process has left me with real anxiety, mostly from how unsafe some of these interactions with tradesmen made me feel in my own space. It’s soured the whole experience of owning my first place. I’m embarrassed by how it looks, and honestly also embarrassed that I’ve let it affect me this much when I know renovations are hard for everyone.
I don’t really know the point of this post. I just needed to say it somewhere. I know I’m not getting that money back, which means I’m stuck here longer than I planned. I’m trying to make peace with the money being gone, but mostly I just feel stupid for buying this place at all.