u/queenofthepotatoes00

Hi everyone 💚

This has been weighing on my conscience for the past few days and I am in desperate need of some advice/support.

For the past 8 months, I have been fostering Gisèle - she is roughly 14/15 years old, mostly deaf, and doesn’t have the greatest eyesight. She is at stage 3 kidney failure and has remained there since I took her in last year. I love her to bits.

The issue is that Gisèle struggles with severe incontinence, and between my job and life I can no longer keep up with the cleaning required. She is peeing and sometimes pooing basically all over the house. I tried keeping her in just the foster room with lots of pee pads, but she cried and cried at the door and refused to eat unless we let her out. Even with litter boxes and pee pads close, she will still have accidents on the floor consistently. I honestly think she may have some kitty dementia and is confused. Needless to say, my house has been thoroughly destroyed.

I have asked the rescue for help, and consistently they told me there was nothing they could do. Even when I had ankle surgery recently, they couldn’t find anyone else to take her. Finally, it got to the point that I just could not handle the maintenance anymore and I begged the rescue to please move her with someone who works from home or is equipped to handle such a high needs foster. The rescue told me that there is nowhere for her to go, that moving her at this point will just stress her out, and that they believe the most compassionate thing to do at this point is to have her euthanized.

I am absolutely gutted and I feel like I have failed her, like it’s my fault - me not being able to keep up with her needs is the reason she is being put down. They want me to determine a date to have the mobile vet come, but I don’t know if I can do it. She seems to fill of life - she eats well, she goes feral for treats and will fight me for my food!! I’ve seen her jump and she can climb the stairs with no issue.

My question is, am I making the right choice in agreeing to have the rescue euthanize her? I am devastated and I feel awful, I can’t help but feel like she has more life left in her. Is the rescue right, is euthanasia the most compassionate thing? Or is she being put down simply because I am struggling to keep up with her needs and there is no one else?

Sorry for the rant, I hope it’s coherent. I have been crying and crying. I love her so much, I just want what’s best for her, and I feel like I am about to be responsible for her being put down before her time. I have been fostering for over two years and this is the first time I have ever felt that I have failed one of my precious foster babies. 💔

Any advice is greatly appreciated. 😢💚