Nightmares, bad dreams, or is it just normal?
I (23F) have been experiencing odd dreams since I was a child. I've been talking about them with my therapist lately and she thinks that I'm having nightmares, but I'm not so sure.
Yes, my dreams are really weird, and I'm fairly certain that if anyone else were having them, they would absolutely be nightmares. However, it just feels . . . normal to me? I dream, nightly, of various themes, including but not limited to: being chased, being hunted, having to hide or run, my animals dying/being hunted, falling, dying, possession, betrayal, the apocalypse (lots of those), and various dreams that remind me of horror video games (sometimes stealth missions where I am the only human alive on a spaceship full of monsters) or whatever. I don't really consume a lot of horror content (have hated it until VERY recently), so there is very little inspiring content I could have consumed.
Yes, sure, often while I am in the dreams, I do experience the emotions appropriate for the setting and situation, but it usually feels like a story. In fact, I can usually figure out that I'm dreaming. Not enough for me to do lucid dreaming, as I actively avoid that, but enough for me to acknowledge that it's a dream and would make for an interesting story, and then I sink right back in and watch it play out.
Sometimes I'm myself, sometimes I'm a character, sometimes I'm both. I know that while I am IN the dream I find it distressing, but it RARELY wakes me up.
Which is kind of the reason I don't think they are nightmares. It could be my autism rigid thinking in what I believe nightmares are based on classification, but I do not experience any of the waking symptoms.
I don't often wake up because of my distress (maybe once a week or so? More if I forgot to take my anxiety meds? But really not that much in the grand scheme of things when my brain is pumping out 3-9 dreams per night), I don't scream or kick or jerk around in my sleep, nor do I sleepwalk or anything like that (have roommates to confirm). On rare occasions, I'll wake up anxious, but if I play my cards right I can get that under control in a matter of hours, and I don't often link it to my dreams but something I was already upset about before sleep.
Yes, I have insomnia, but I'm 90% sure it is related to other health issues as I have also recently been sleeping a ton during the day (thinking thyroid, but not the point), and I also suspect that whatever health problem that is is the reason I've never felt rested after sleep.
I have been experiencing this as far back as I can remember, but to give a number, maybe 5 or so? 6? And, yes, I have childhood trauma. However, my dreams have never felt that bad to me, and since I don't have a lot of the waking symptoms I never classified them as real nightmares, and eventually I stopped classifying them as bad dreams, too. They've just become normal. My therapist thinks that my brain just stopped having a strong reaction over time cause of fatigue from experiencing it every night.
[Edit: I do remember most if not all of my dreams, with details lingering for hours or even days, or longer. I still remember some dreams I've had from years in the past, if that's helpful at all]
All this to ask: has anyone experienced this before, are they nightmares and I'm just dumb, and is this something worth trying to pursue medical help or a diagnosis of some kind over?