I will be Ted Lasso for free housing
Hello Tom. I am a Portland Trailblazers fan from Wichita Kansas. I have 0 experience coaching basketball, and honestly I watch football more often. I hear you are concerned about the price required to replace a halfway decent interim coach and I would like to throw my name in the ring. Have you ever watched the show Ted Lasso? A guy from Wichita who had no experience turned a soccer club franchise around despite the owner not giving a rats ass and I am here to offer the same possibility. I do not require payment, all I ask is that I be able to bring my sleeping bag into Moda center so I don’t have to commute cross country every day. I will steal practice balls from local kids playing in the park, and I will raid an overseas jersey factory for our uniforms. I will Offer free agents stock options for contracts, and I will paint dish rags black so fans have something to wave around on game day. I will trade players away rather than risk entering any luxury tax brackets, and I will also wear a Carolina Hurricanes jersey during games so your other team gets free publicity. Thank you for taking the time to read this since you fired the assistant that would normally read this for you, and I hope to hear from you soon! My email is ilovebillionares@gmail.com, and you can DM me on instagram, where my handle is feedtherich8492.
With love,
Wichita Blazers fan