u/sabrinka

I adopted a puppy on 7/11 (born 5/7/26) so she is now a little over 10 weeks and has been home with me for a little over a week. She is a long haired mini dachshund.

Growing up, I have never been allowed to have a pet. I thought I had experience dogsitting for people (puppies and adults). I have wanted one since playing with my neighbors dachshund as a young girl, and since living with a mixed doxie breed from 2021 through 2023. I find them absolutely adorable and have so many dachshund-themed items. I thought I performed sufficient research on their behaviors, preferences, potential health issues, etc. I have spent a significant amount of money on anything I possibly could to help her adjust and be happy.

Things I did not realize when I got my puppy:

1. The adjustment of being a “mom” when I’ve never had to be the primary caretaker of another living being
2. Loss of moments between just my fiance and I, feeling like I ruined what was a perfect dynamic
3. The fact that she cannot be left alone for small stretches of time and our training does not seem to help her adjust. High value treats do not distract her until we return.
4. Needing to go back to work in person soon after adoption; I have already spent so much money, and now I have to get sitters, daycare, training classes, etc
5. That puppies can easily pick up parasites (mine caught giardia immediately which has further reduced the places we can go with her)
6. That she won’t be fully vaccinated until 15 ish weeks
7. Mental health impact (expanded on below)

Additionally, she will not poop outside on walks. She only will if we are outside for a really long stretch (like 1-3 hours). She waits til we come back inside.

All of that being said, I want to focus on #7 now. I have a history of depression and anxiety but am on a pretty low dose of medication which has made me feel pretty stable. I was feeling very good about my life, my mental health, work, and everything else. On day 2 of having her, I began to have panic attacks, uncontrollable crying, terrible anxiety, loss of appetite, etc. I feel incredibly disconnected from her because of the way she makes me feel. I’ve already upped my medication and even gotten a sedative prescribed and I had my first therapy session.

I’m her primary caretaker. My fiance didn’t really care to get a dog but supported me getting one since he knew how badly I’ve wanted one throughout our relationship. What we both didn’t expect was my terribly negative reaction I’ve had to all of these changes. I’ve read a lot of posts/comments on this sub that say it gets better with time. I want the dog to eventually fit into our life, our dynamic; not the other way around. I still want to be able to go out to dinners and enjoy some evenings out, not feeling confined to my 1 bedroom apartment.

I just feel absolutely miserable. She is objectively adorable and everybody stops us on the street to ask about her, compliment her, pet her, etc. I just don’t feel a connection when I look at her. She has made me lose so much zest for living in such a short amount of time. My fiance says he hasn’t seen me like this throughout our 5 years together, and we’ve supported each other through some pretty tough times. I don’t know a path forward. Advice please.

I adopted a puppy on 7/11 (born 5/7/26) so she is now a little over 10 weeks and has been home with me for a little over a week. She is a long haired mini dachshund.

Growing up, I have never been allowed to have a pet. I thought I had experience dogsitting for people (puppies and adults). I have wanted one since playing with my neighbors dachshund as a young girl, and since living with a mixed doxie breed from 2021 through 2023. I find them absolutely adorable and have so many dachshund-themed items. I thought I performed sufficient research on their behaviors, preferences, potential health issues, etc. I have spent a significant amount of money on anything I possibly could to help her adjust and be happy.

Things I did not realize when I got my puppy:

1. The adjustment of being a “mom” when I’ve never had to be the primary caretaker of another living being
2. Loss of moments between just my fiance and I, feeling like I ruined what was a perfect dynamic
3. The fact that she cannot be left alone for small stretches of time and our training does not seem to help her adjust. High value treats do not distract her until we return.
4. Needing to go back to work in person soon after adoption; I have already spent so much money, and now I have to get sitters, daycare, training classes, etc
5. That puppies can easily pick up parasites (mine caught giardia immediately which has further reduced the places we can go with her)
6. That she won’t be fully vaccinated until 15 ish weeks
7. Mental health impact (expanded on below)

Additionally, she will not poop outside on walks. She only will if we are outside for a really long stretch (like 1-3 hours). She waits til we come back inside.

All of that being said, I want to focus on #7 now. I have a history of depression and anxiety but am on a pretty low dose of medication which has made me feel pretty stable. I was feeling very good about my life, my mental health, work, and everything else. On day 2 of having her, I began to have panic attacks, uncontrollable crying, terrible anxiety, loss of appetite, etc. I feel incredibly disconnected from her because of the way she makes me feel. I’ve already upped my medication and even gotten a sedative prescribed and I had my first therapy session.

I’m her primary caretaker. My fiance didn’t really care to get a dog but supported me getting one since he knew how badly I’ve wanted one throughout our relationship. What we both didn’t expect was my terribly negative reaction I’ve had to all of these changes. I’ve read a lot of posts/comments on this sub that say it gets better with time. I want the dog to eventually fit into our life, our dynamic; not the other way around. I still want to be able to go out to dinners and enjoy some evenings out, not feeling confined to my 1 bedroom apartment.

I just feel absolutely miserable. She is objectively adorable and everybody stops us on the street to ask about her, compliment her, pet her, etc. I just don’t feel a connection when I look at her. She has made me lose so much zest for living in such a short amount of time. My fiance says he hasn’t seen me like this throughout our 5 years together, and we’ve supported each other through some pretty tough times. I don’t know a path forward. Advice please.