u/sagi_concern

Since I had this condition there hasn't been a time where I don't have some device playing background sound to alleviate the pain or an activity on my phone that I am doing to distract my mind. Most nights involve me collapsing from sleep after countless hours of scrolling on TikTok. I feel like a cyber zombie, I yearn to enjoy nature and go on digital detoxes as I believe one shouldn't indulge in so much technology. Just before I got tinnitus there used to be a time where I would read books, that hasn't happened in such a long time, I had the potential to be an person who invest in his education but simply things like reading and actively learning just had the joy sucked out of me, I don't know what I am living for. Is there more on the other side perhaps>

Ever since I got tinnitus I haven't been able to fall asleep naturally like I used to, I always have to press my tragus so I can minimise the sound and get distracted by hearing the bloodflow while actively imagining stuff instead of my brain passively relaxing and listening to background sounds such as the wind and etc.

I am so young but I screwed up my quality of life and I deeply regret that, I feel like a burden to almost everyone I care about in life, and when I think about it, I have never been truly happy for a long time, it feels like I have been distracting myself for a long time. Why us? why is the universe so cruel