u/sdgftgvh

I am fifteen years old and I'm a female. and I just want someone to respond.

Nobody tells you that when you're young, your parents are divorcing and no attention is on you, nobody tells you the things you'll end up doing just to get noticed. From anyone.

My parents divorced when I was nine, it got even worse when I was around eleven. Arguing all the time. I didn't talk much with my dad. My relationship with my mum was horrible, I had NO friends, My brother was too old to talk to, Sister was too young. They were close. I had nobody.

Omegle was a big thing, like a BIG thing. And there was different modes. Like sexual modes. I was young. Stupid, and being ignored by my family, I needed someone older to rely on or appreciate me. So I turned to omegle. I would watch older men do inappropriate things. Listen to what they told me to do, take my clothes off for them. Whatever they asked. It adapted. Badly.

I would add their snapchats, I was being FLOODED by usernames. I didn't care who it was. They were added. I was told to call them names. To call them, do things to myself for them. Praise them, send videos, photos of me without clothes, and I knew it was wrong. But it was the attention. Being told I was good. That I was getting praised.

It went too far with one guy, I blocked him, obviously. Got added by another account that I thought was random. Added them back. It was the same guy, with TONS of photos of me, my face, when I was naked, or without certain parts of clothes. I didn't know what to do, he said he knew where I lived. I was moving into Academy. It was my biggest fear. That it would be someone I knew. It wasn't, I made a new Snapchat account, switched up everything about it.

I still get scared, but I only stopped a year or two ago. But now I'm very sexual, not with people but to myself, I do a lot of things to myself and then hate my body and my mind afterwards.

This is my first post on here and I doubt it'll go anywhere, but I feel disgusting and I just hate myself for it.