Goodbye Toby
I didn't know I could hurt this much. I feel so broken. I don't know how to hold it together in front of my one year old.
My husband and I said goodbye to Toby this morning. We've had him his whole life and my whole adult life. 14.5 years and I wish so much it was longer. He was diagnosed with angiosarcoma last month and a tumor in his spleen. The tumor grew rapidly and the past two weeks were a sharp decline. He was no longer eating except for occasional human food and refused meds. The tumor sucked up all his nutrients and he was losing weight fast. But even though all these signs were there, we couldn't make the decision until yesterday. The vet came to our home this morning and helped him pass. I am absolutely wrecked. I cried harder than I've ever cried during the whole process. It's only been 4 hours and I can't stop crying. I feel delirious. I love him so much. I am so sad.