u/searchforanswers555

Is there any intuitive way to grasp the essence of QM, without the math. I know I may sound very ridiculous, since math is essential. But if one understands the Schrodinger equation to some extent, will he be able to grasp the absolute essence of quantum mechanics. I am more inclined to think of the philosophical interpretation of QM than doing it in the traditional way. I am sorry if this sounds awful of me (I was a Science student, but now I am more into philosophy). Any help, would be greatly appreciated.

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So, I've been working on a Treatise, that involves a lot of speculative Philosophy and Theology. I know that some may think its weird that one tries to climb up the ladder without enough tools. I havent read any of the Church Fathers (might have read a bit of here and there, but thats just too little). Intuitively I know certain amounts. I am more interested in speculative philosophy of Theology.

The question is, that I do not know how writing philosophy would grant me any income. I am obsessively working on my treatise with some passion, so I do not want to stop doing that. I did my ALs in biology, and I went to University, where I could not carry the weight since I was more inclined to philosophy. I think I can call myself more inclined to philosophy. I havent read any philosophy. I have been creating a new system to explain the human mind, angelic thought, the Logos, the Passion of our Lord. Please, I am sorry if I sound harshly arrogant. I do not want to be. I am done being proudful of nothing. I have a new framework built to understanding reality, to understanding the Logos in all. And I am working on trying to use analysis to say how much Christ suffered for us. It may sound gibberish, but I am doing some real work on them.

Do you know any way in which I could gain income. I am a person struggling from severe depression and some other mental problems. I have personality issues, and that makes it difficult for me to read a book even. I recently started reading a novel, just to practice reading. My parents are totally against my vocation, though they support for the time being. But it will not be long term. I cannot bear to know if I will go poor. I do not even know how to add data so that I can use internet. And I am 19M. I dont understand the world. I wanted to become a monk in a monastery, but I think my vocation is to be a Husband, rather. Any help....I thank you a thousand times.