Legal Father/motherhood questions

Hello everyone,

I have a question about father/motherhood laws in Germany. I read that lesbian married couples still need to adopt their wife's child. However, if a cis woman has a child her trans man partner is legally the father without adoption.

Now I was wondering: if I (ftm) have a child naturally, is my wife still legally the parent? Since we are legally speaking woman and man? Or would she need to adopt said child?

Thank you!

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u/seaswitch- — 1 day ago

For anyone who has an SPC

I'm considering an SPC as a last resort and have some questions which I'd be very grateful for getting answers to.

I currently (and for the last few years) need to pee pretty much every single hour. Because of that, I don't drink when I'm outside, so I'm permanently dehydrated.

I tried self cathing (I bleed and am in pain for up to 12 hours afterwards, gave up after 2 weeks) and multiple different pills which all gave me urinary retention.

I'm wondering weather y'all feel like you need to pee 24/7 because of the balloon inside the bladder? Caus I heared someone say that and I think I'd rather stay dehydrated then :')

Also, how often do you need to get it changed? Caus I travel A LOT for work and can't go to an appointment every 4 weeks.

Does the whole thing generally cause you pain?

I'd be very grateful for any form of experience that anyone has to share!

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u/seaswitch- — 1 day ago

Worst Ableism experience of my life

I was in Poland the last few days and I'm still baffled.

I grew up in Germany and have seen all of Europe by now. I'm not gonna act like Europe is all great everywhere - it varies a lot (Scandinavia is a dream and Baltikum is a nightmare when it comes to wheelchair accessibility, for example)

But I've always found that people here are friendly, helpful, and respectful.

I've been in a chair all my life and life in one of the biggest cities in Germany, yet I had very few situations where i was treated disrespectfully or threatening because I'm in a chair.

Last week I visited a friend who is also in a chair in Poland for the first time, and just poland in general for the first time. We were in Warsaw and basically did sightseeing for a few days.

I was insulted, grabbed, yelled at for "taking up space", threatened etc. EVERY DAY NON STOP!

I've never experienced anything like it. My friend said this is normal in Poland from her experience.

In one situation I had a man just grab me under the arms while I was transferring and not let go until I nearly broke his jaw with my elbow, in another a woman on the train started screaming at us and nearly got physical because she was of the opinion we took up too much space. She then called me a "dirty queer" (my friend translated, but I'm not even gay? Even if I was I don't understand the issue with that?)

What is going on? Was this an only me experience? Has anyone in Poland/who visited Poland made different experiences and knows wtf was going on?

I found the country culturally and architecturally beautiful, Warsaw felt like a better, cleaner Berlin, but I feel as if I should never ever return because of this.

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u/seaswitch- — 8 days ago

Car I camped in for 2 months driving trough 8 countries

Most beautiful trip of my life by far!

u/seaswitch- — 11 days ago

4 month post op (Ivan justan in Brno)

The right side has a tiny bit more tissue I think (or swelling? Or scarring? No idea. Had issues with that side during healing)

But I'm very pleased, especially for the price I paid.

u/seaswitch- — 18 days ago
▲ 26 r/cologne

Good dentist who doesn't shame me for my teeth?

Hey everyone,

I'm looking for a good dentist (not privat) who doesn't shame me for the state of my teeth! I haven't been to a dentist in 10 years, because I have a genetic defect that (while putting me in a wheelchair) also greatly affects my teeth.

I get holes and plague no matter how much I brush them.

In the past, dentists have been so rude to me, insulting me, telling me it's my fault and that I'm lazy. I'm an adult man yet I've literally been brought to tears by them before! So I just stopped going.

Are there any good dentists who are sympathetic? Willing to travel anywhere in and around cologne.

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u/seaswitch- — 28 days ago
▲ 29 r/autism

I can't sleep beside my girlfriend, is there any solution?

Hello Reddit,

​

I come here looking for help. My Girlfriend and I are both autistic (tho I am early diagnosed with way more 'obvious' symptoms and she was late diagnosed at 20)

We don't live together but spend about 50% of our time at each other's places.

We both have a 140x200cm mattress, so two skinny people should comfortably fit without touching.

​

But I just can't do it! I wake up about 5 times a night when she sleeps in my bed (or I in hers) and I take forever to fall asleep. Her breathing at me bothers me, her moving bothers me, her even slightly touching my blanket bothers me and keeps me from falling asleep. It's obviously all not her fault, and I feel so bad for the rage it makes me feel, but I'm so tired!

​

It's 2am rn and I have work at 7, and I'm sitting in my living room caus I can't sleep!

Is there anything I can do? Would a bigger bed help? But then I would still feel her move, right?

Can I buy a bedframe and put two separate mattresses in it, would that help? I'm losing it!

I don't want to have the 'we can't sleep in one bed" convo with her, because I know it would make her sad, and I intend to marry this girl so I can't really do this for the rest of our respective life's!

​

Open to any advice no matter how weird or insane.

Ps; we already use separate blankets

​

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u/seaswitch- — 2 months ago

Power chair recommendations needed - looking at the f5

Hello Reddit,

​

I'm currently looking at a power chair since my manual isn't covering my needs all the time. I am inclined towards the permobile F5 and front wheel drive in general, but maybe someone here has other good recommendations I'm not aware off?

​

I use my manual in my apartment, so super tight space isn't as much of a worried. I need a chair that has adjustable seat functions since I need to lay back at least every 2 hours (currently laying down on the floor every 2h :/) to prevent pain.

I will mostly be using it outside (cobble stone city) and on the tram to get to work. That means it needs to get up the 7cm high curbs, since that's the curb height that is legally required for "accessible" train stations here.

I'm a very very active person so something with long battery life that isn't too slow would be preferable.

​

I read that front wheel is the best for outside/cobble stone/getting over small curbs?

Price isn't much of a worry since insurance in Germany generally pays for high-end power chairs with my diagnosis.

Quantum chairs aren't an option since no supplier in my area carries them.

​

Also happy for anyone who has experience with the F5 and quantum power chairs in general!

​

​

​

reddit.com
u/seaswitch- — 2 months ago

Got my art printed on postcards for post crossing!:)

I hope those who get one like them!

u/seaswitch- — 2 months ago
▲ 8 r/Bonn

Straßenbahn Netzplan für Barrierefreie Haltestelle?

Hallo Bonn,

​

Gibt es eine Karte, auf der alle Barrierefreien Straßenbahn Stationen (ebenerdiger Einstieg mit erolli) eingezeichnet sind?

Köln hat so eine Karte, aber ich bin ab und zu in Bonn, daher wäre das ganz praktisch. Leider hab ich nur eine Excel Tabelle gefunden die total unübersichtlich ist :/

Danke!

reddit.com
u/seaswitch- — 2 months ago

Ist das schon Scheinselbständigkeit?

Hallo liebes Reddit,

Meine Partnerin ist momentan zwischen zwei Ausbildung und wollte, um die Zeit zu überbrücken, einen Nebenjob suchen. Das hat sie einer Nachbarin erzählt die zufällig eine Frau kennt, die ein nahe gelegenes Schutzhaus für geflüchtete mädchen und Frauen leitet.

Dort wurde ihr angeboten, auf Minijob Basis den mädchen und Frauen die in die Schule gehen bei den Hausaufgaben zu helfen.

Nun ist sie einmal zur Probe arbeiten gekommen und alle waren ganz zufrieden, die Heimleitung hat ihr einen Vertrag fertig gemacht, alles schön und gut.

Nun steht in diesem Vertrag, das meine Partnerin selbstständig wäre, für mehrere Dienstleister arbeitet und somit praktisch nur ihre Dienstleistungen anbiete. Das stimmt natürlich nicht, sie ist und war noch nie selbstständig

Mein letzter Wirtschaftsunterricht ist schon etwas her, aber das ist doch Scheinselbstständigkeit oder?

Eigentlich kann es ja nicht sein, das ein staatlich gefördertes Wohnheim so etwas macht?

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u/seaswitch- — 3 months ago

Rmp falls off while on the highway, is this normal?

Hello everyone,

I'm just a girl with her first car and therefore don't know if this is normal/expected with manual cars:

My car is a 2009 Skoda roomstar 1.4 16V, I had it for a year. It runs smoothly and I had no issues yet, the engine starts every time without a fail, it doesn't make any odd sounds while driving or Standing. The car always went to inspection and I brought it in 4 months ago, got the oil changed and it had no issues.

Now I had the following situation happen twice: I drive on the highway at about 120 km/h, so not super fast. Suddenly, the rmp falls from about 3500 to 3000 with no apparent reason despite me still being on the gas before picking up again. Car continues like normal and I drove 30 more minutes to work with no issues both times.

First time happend 6 months ago, second and last time this morning.

Is this a big deal? Or just something cars sometimes do?

Thanks for any help and sorry for my poor English.

reddit.com
u/seaswitch- — 3 months ago

New attachment day! (V3 plus "lane assist" review)

I got my v3 plus yesterday and did a 13 kilometres test run on different terrain with it today! (Like 8 miles, for the Americans)

I asked about it on here some months ago and promised to review it if I ended up getting it, so here is that review.

The main goal of the attachment is the "lane assist", meaning it holds your lane on side leaning pavement and uneven terrain by locking the front wheel in a straight position, allowing you to steer with the Handel. Once I got used to this (it is incredibly different to normal wheelchair use) It did this job exceptionally well.

It has two "modes" essentially - lane assist and free movement - that can be changed by moving one small screw like bit. I found myself mostly using the lane assist mode, since it allows you to go around corners without needing to break to turn, if that makes sense, saving a hell of a lot of energy and speed. Also all the streets here are crooked anyways. It was so freeing to just go straight on side leaning streets without putting in the extra work and also keeping speed around corners! The only situations in which I used the free mode, which essentially makes it feel like a freewheel/rgk wheel, was on steep inclines, since I felt that the lane assist made it more difficult to get up them somehow?

I had the freewheel before this and this is what I wanted the freewheel to be, if that makes sense. It's twice the price of the freewheel tho, which is a down side.

I have never been able to go this fast, smooth, and comfortably anywhere outdoorsy before. It handled all terrain well, at least the ones that I tried (grass, cobble stone, forest ground, small stones)

The handle is freely adjustable in length and angle, took me some time to find the right position but I did it eventually.

I haven't found anything that I mind with the attachment itself yet, other than the fact that the breaks where way to tight when it got deliverd, but adjusting them was fairly easy and it came with tools for the set-up process anyway.

It also has a much bigger turning circle than the rgk wheel, but it's a minus I'm very willing to live with. It's about twice as heavy as the freewheel I'd say, but I didn't find it harder to push. Also gets a lot of attention, I was stopped twice on my way - once by some older people who had questions and once by kids who thought it "looked super cool" :)

u/seaswitch- — 3 months ago

Barrierfreie Wohnung ohne WBS? Unmöglich??

Hallo Reddit,

Ich bin schon länger fertig mit meiner Ausbildung, weshalb ich jetzt eine Wohnung suche. Am besten rechtsreinisch.

Ich sitze im Rollstuhl und brauche daher zumindest ein halbwegs stufenlosen Zugang, in der Wohnung selber geht es auch ohne. Aber halt keinen Treppen.

Auf Seiten wie Immoscout kommt da kaum was raus, und wenn dann sind die Wohnungen für Leute ab 60 oder mit WBS. Ich glaube als Festangestellter Software Entwickler habe ich kein Anspruch auf einen WBS...

Kann man sich irgendwo melden, oder Mitglied bei irgendeiner Genossenschaft werden die barrierfreie/arme Wohnungen anbietet? Ich habe gesehen das es bei der Stadt köln eine Beratungsstelle gibt, aber da steht auch nur irgendwas von WBS :/

Wie machen das denn alle anderen Menschen im mit Behinderungen die einen Job und damit kein WBS haben?

Kann ich mich vielleicht trotzdem bei diesem ab 60 wohnen melden und fragen ob die eine Ausnahme machen? Das Alter meiner Nachbarn ist mir ja eigentlich egal...bin wirklich am verzweifeln.

Danke!

reddit.com
u/seaswitch- — 3 months ago