u/secant_lido

HR asked me a completely inappropriate question right as we were wrapping up the interview

I had a late-stage interview this week with a growing SaaS company for a lead developer role. The coding exercise and the conversation with the manager had gone surprisingly well, and the pay range was very close to what I was expecting.

As we were about to wrap things up, the HR manager said, "Before we let you go, there's one more thing I need to ask you about..." and then she asked me, "Are you planning to start a family at any point in the next year or two?"

I honestly froze for a second. I asked her to repeat the question because I thought I must have heard it wrong. But no, she clarified and said, "We're trying to understand people's circumstances at home so we can plan headcount better."

I've done a lot of interviews over the years, including some very awkward ones, but I've never encountered someone being that direct about something that is clearly not allowed to be asked. I calmly told her I wasn't comfortable answering, because it wasn't an appropriate question in a hiring process. She looked genuinely surprised, as if I was the one making it weird.

That pretty much killed any good feeling I had about the whole thing. I still thanked her for the interview, but I also told her I had concerns about a workplace that sees this kind of question as normal.

By the time I got home, I was still turning the situation over in my head. Has anyone else encountered something like this in tech hiring recently? I'm torn between reporting it somewhere, or just walking away and focusing on other roles.

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u/secant_lido — 18 hours ago

My manager is pressuring me to tell him where I'm going next and my new salary. Do I have to answer?

After I gave my notice 2 weeks before leaving, my manager called me and asked which company I'm going to. I told him I wasn't comfortable sharing that information right now (what I meant was that I had seen advice saying it's better not to disclose this).

Then he sent a follow-up email with a lot of words in caps and asked again, saying he needs to make sure there's no conflict of interest. He also said that since he'll probably find out from LinkedIn after I leave, it's better for me to tell him now so they can make sure the new place isn't working on any matters related to us (and they really aren't).

He also asked me if I'd be willing to share my new salary so they can adjust their thinking on compensation internally.

I'm only on day 3 of my notice period and I already feel like this is going to drag on. I don't want to burn a bridge, but at the same time I don't feel like this is information I owe him. What's the best way to answer here - should I keep politely refusing, or just tell him and be done with it?

reddit.com
u/secant_lido — 3 days ago