u/setdelmar

I’m a middle-aged dual citizen, born and raised in the U.S., but Mexico has been my home since 2004. I rarely go back except for weddings or funerals. My kids were born in Mexico and obtained dual citizenship a couple of years ago, but they have never been to the U.S. My oldest speaks English from being raised by me. My wife is Mexican and we’ve been married 12 years.

All four of my kids’ grandparents are alive and living in Mexico as well. My parents (both U.S. born and raised, now retired here since 2000 and also dual citizens) live near us, and so do my in-laws. Our entire immediate family life is based here, and we have no intention of moving to the U.S.

We recently went through the tourist visa process for my wife so we could occasionally visit the U.S. as a family. However, she was quickly denied without much opportunity to explain our situation or present supporting evidence.

I’m just trying to understand what the realistic path is for families like ours in this situation. It feels like a catch-22: a green card process requires intent to reside permanently in the U.S., while a tourist visa application often seems to assume immigrant intent anyway because of our family situation, even though our entire life is established in Mexico.

At this point, I’m trying to understand whether there is any realistic way for us to travel together as a family, as I would not travel to the U.S. with my children if my wife is unable to accompany us.

I’m a dual citizen, born and raised in the U.S., but Mexico has been my home since 2004. I rarely go back except for weddings or funerals. My kids were born in Mexico and have never been to the U.S., although my oldest speaks English from being raised by me. My wife is Mexican and we’ve been married 12 years.

All four of my kids’ grandparents are alive and living in Mexico as well, my parents (both U.S. born and raised, now retired here) live near us, and so do my in-laws. Our entire immediate family life is based here, and we have no intent to move to the U.S.

We recently went through the tourist visa process for my wife so we could occasionally visit the U.S. as a family. We spent a significant amount of money on the trip to the consulate and time preparing, though in hindsight we didn’t fully understand how short and mostly verbal the interview would be, and we gathered a large set of documents to support our situation.

Unfortunately, she was denied at the interview. What’s frustrating is that she never really got a chance to explain the full context of our family situation, our long-term residence in Mexico, our ties here, and the fact that we are not trying to immigrate.

I also feel somewhat conflicted because I’m partly frustrated that she didn’t volunteer more of this information, but she genuinely believed the interview would be more of a conversation where these details would naturally come up. Instead, it was very short and structured, and she was under the impression that she should only answer what was directly asked, and not volunteer additional details unless prompted. edit: My wife also says that the person interviewing her was not paying her much attention either and mostly looking at their computer screen. In fact my wife is more upset about the lack of respect with which she felt she was treated by this individual than that her visa was denied.

We had all the supporting documents ready, but there just wasn’t an opportunity to present the full picture.

I’m just trying to understand what the realistic path is for families like ours in situations like this.

Edit: I feel like the message I am getting from the Gov't is that until me and my family actually want to live permanently in the USA my wife is not allowed to go there, only me and my kids may cross the border, but my wife may not.