Ruined life
Hi everyone. When I was younger, I felt ashamed of my name because a popular Russian comedy show mocked it in a way that also had racist and xenophobic undertones. I’m not ethnically Russian, and this affected me deeply.
I became depressed and started having seizure-like episodes. Over the years, since I was 20 different doctors diagnosed me with epilepsy, and I took Depakine and Topamax for many years. Recently, I was told that the episodes were psychogenic rather than epileptic, and were described as tics.
Now I don’t know how to move forward. I’ve lost all my friends, have barely ever worked, and I’m 34. I’m struggling with severe depression and suicidal thoughts. I blame myself for not taking my health seriously enough—for trusting the diagnoses instead of seeking more opinions and further testing.
Has anyone been through something similar? I’m afraid I may never recover from the effects of taking these medications for so long.