I own a kid’s party venue, and received an itemized invoice from the parents for their “services” after their event. Good lord.
I’ve never been condescended to like this in our whole 10 years. Like, no one asked you to do all that, lady.
I won’t pick apart the dishonesty in her email as it is all relatively meaningless self importance. That’s normal with parents and kids events. But important context, they read and agreed to all of the structure guidelines, T&Cs, and already received a partial refund for catering that was 10 minutes late.
Now that I’ve picked my jaw up off the floor, here are the choice cuts from the email volley exchange. I’ve obscured some info but otherwise it’s word for word.
Title: Debrief regarding (Child ChildLastName)’s birthday on (date)”
“Hello etc. Thank you for your efforts in supporting my child, Child ChildLastName.
As discussed, party conditions were suboptimal.
Ultimately, the kids completed the activities, ate some food, and genuinely reported having a good time.
After reasonable thought, I’d be grateful for your time in reading this email, and payment of a reasonable fee.
The aspect of service missing was a well-coordinated and stress-free party experience for the client - this being the major reason parents seek party services (alongside wanting kids to have a great time).
I used my experience working with children to address organisational oversights and provide the children required structure.
Party services I provided:
- Supporting party host in working with children.
- Help structuring the main activity for guests.
- Supplying and leading own activity while pots dried (‘pass the parcel’)
- Using birthday cake to address children’s complaints of hunger while awaiting missing catering.
- Devising a second activity given 40 mins still left of party.
- Organising teens to finish activity for party guests back of house, understanding parents would have to carry them home/put in car, with no bags provided.
- Moving completed activities to the front table for parents to easily collect and go.
The host let me know she had little experience running children’s events. This lack of experience could not be addressed in the moment, only supported by myself.
This points to a systems issue: owners/managers had assigned a host with insufficient experience for this type of event.
Host also let me know that details from my email exchanges with owner had been forward to her. This was regarding children with special needs, and my requests/suggestions to scaffold the session. At the end of the party, host admitted she had noted the message about special needs, but not the message on scaffolding.
While I am pleased owner passed on these messages, it is important that training and support is given to hosts beforehand, with a clear structure to all aspects of hosting a children’s event, not just completing the main activity.
This means helping kids occupy the space from when they arrive, providing zones for things, staggering the supply of information and materials strategically. For example: presents over here, cake over there, designated eating table, welcoming kids in circle on the floor, party host introducing self, shining some light on birthday child, telling the group what they’ll be doing, guiding kids to activity zone, passing out materials as they’re required, instructing kids on how/when to use materials, etc.
Understanding these things takes time and training. It is also what families pay for when they book a children’s party.
I respect your business and hope it will thrive, and that the advice given here is useful for structuring, training and staffing Venue’s children’s parties in the future.
As tempting as it may be to apportion full responsibility to the party host, I implore you to consider yesterday's scenario from a systems perspective.
I am happy to pay for the use of your venue, the host’s time, the activity materials, and the catering (which arrived in the end). I request a fee of $(host’s rate) for my services rendered yesterday, paid via refund. Thank you.
I wish you all the best with your business.”
Good. Fucking. Lord. So many assumptions, so little time. I thanked her for her feedback, advocated for our training (it’s thorough and always ongoing), and reiterated that we’re not a school or therapist but a venue for people to host their own events. So she got freeeeee catering, plus a whole second activity (becoming a very, very expensive few hours for me.)
There are 2 more emails, but in the end I didn’t pay her little bill and essentially shut it down with an overly wordy “two can play at this game. Being a parent isn’t billable, but I’m sure you’ve tried before and will try again. You had the party you created by being a rigid snob. Hopefully your kids can enjoy their next party somewhere they’re allowed to have fun. Because you want to act like you’re a service provider in my business, I’ll treat you like one; Your services and involvement is terminated and will not be required in the future. Do not contact me again. You’re fired, be better for your kids.”
Oh and that the host was assigned for her experience with special needs kids, plus 18 months of training.
I’m still reeling from it and I genuinely want to know if any other businesses have dealt with this type of I Am Very Smart parents lately. It’s floored all the staff, we’ve had some difficult parents before who make complaints and expect refunds, but this is beyond that by a league and a half. Recession Indicator Karen.
Ps. Her kids were spoiled brats.