My thoughts 💜
Hello all
I've been having a lot of thoughts about the Gunil situation, as a lot of people have, and just wanted to get them out of my head before they disappear because I have the memory of a goldfish.
Anyways, this is mostly about what Gunil said -"씨발 년"- and about him being labeled a misogynist.
It is not my intent to start any arguments; I just want to exchange thoughts with everyone.
I'm not that old (legal adult tho) compared to others who may have more wisdom than me, and I am still fairly new to kpop, so this whole situation is wild for me.
Despite that, I've lived in a bunch of different situations, and I have always been quiet, so all I do is observe. I see the way people act when they are under intense stress, anger, and sadness. I have also experienced these intense situations myself, although my brain tries to make me forget.
I just want to mention that the information about the words Gunil said is what I got from other users on this platform sharing their knowledge.
In Gunil's situation, the words he said were not ok; they were wrong. I personally feel the most damage those words caused was based on the history it has of degrading women, along with the harsh cultural and social norms women face in Korea.
When looking at the actual meaning of the words, I can't help but feel like they describe sasaengs and their actions. The words have been described by others as meaning f***ing b**ch, c**nt, h*e, and someone is not human.
I wondered if this situation would be different if Gunil said "f***ing b**ch, c**nt, h*e, and sub-human" instead of "씨발 년" because, to me, those words are most deserving of people who harass others, stalk them, and make them feel like they are worthless unless they adhere to their desires.
I know what it feels like when you're trying to please others and when you feel like you only have value when you are servicing others, because whenever you are 100%, you are called lazy, ignorant.
Knowing this, I can only imagine how Gunil and other idols feel, trying to achieve their dreams, doing something they love, but constantly being met with people who overstep the boundary of fan and artist. Some people hold idols to extremely unrealistic standards and treat them like service workers who must bend to their every will, and if they don't, they are treated cruelly in every way possible until they either break or bend. Like, there are genuinely people out there who think idols don't poop.... they gotta be smokin something.
I just want to clarify: I am not defending Gunil, I know what he said was wrong based on it cultural signifgance and based on his explanation/apology on bubble, he seemingly does. Obviously I don't know Gunil, but the fact that he shared his perspective means something to me based on the fact that it contradicted his termination letter by JYP and was not officially made public. Since he was not given the chance to share this explanation publicly, it makes me feel that JYP doesn't care about his image now that he has been terminated. They said good luck finding a new job buddy, better go get that Wendy's application.
I also saw people saying that when under intense mental and emotional distress, people usually reac h for gender neutral insults, and I'm sorry, but that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. The whole point of the words people say when they lash out is to hurt the other person(s) and make them feel the same way they made them feel. In his bubble note, Gunil explained that he and the other members were met with stalking, harassment, unrealistic criticism, having their dorm broken into, and having trackers put on their car. I don't care how strong you claim to be; no one is enduring all that and more without proper help and not snapping. And it's not like this is anything new; sasaengs are widely known to destroy people mentally and even lead them to take their lives.
So I don't understand how people's first thought is to label Gunil a misogynist and continue to ridicule him, especially when he himself acknowledged what he said was wrong. I guarantee no one here has or ever will experience what idols do because the hate is being spewed from all angles by hundreds and thousands of people.
And this isn't just about Gunil, but I don't understand how no one can make a mistake like this and atone for it. You're labeled a mysonginist, and that's it- no coming back, no matter how hard you try, because no one will believe you. I'm tired of this narrative that if you're a woman and you defend or provide sympathy to someone like this, then you're actively degrading your own being. Human beings are multifaceted individuals who can experience pain, fear, and anger all at once. The idea that the person who is pushed to their breaking point deserves more hate and criticism than the people who got them to this point is insane to me, and it is cruel.
I often feel hopeless because it doesn't matter what others say about me, but if I let my smile slip or even dare to think about saying something as hurtful back, I'll be the one in the wrong.
I'm a sympathetic person who tries my best to understand everyone's perspectives, but to some people that means nothing. Instead, they will just see another parasocial fan trying to aimlessly defend their pookie.
Again, I just want to say I understand the words Gunil chose were wrong, but I also feel that simply writing him off as a misogynist given his situation is just wrong.
That's all; I definitely forgot some stuff, but my brain has run out of power, and my arm is about to dislocate. Again, I don't mean to cause any arguments; I just want to share my experience as a depressed chud.
Somebody email me a Big Mac and a six-piece nugget with a sprite, ill be waiting. 👨🦲